While He Was Down Sunday!

Oh, Lord! What would we do without Brale Brother Reap to entertain us??? He certainly seems to be attracting quite a little following as of late. We have no idea what the name of the girl who was hitting on him Sunday night was but this one certainly seemed to be feeling B.B. Reap! We hear that at one point they were talking about bull riding and she said that she could last longer on a bull than he could. B.B. Reap’s response? “You think so? Pretty good at wrapping your legs around things without getting bucked off, eh?” OMG! We. Die. We hear that Nigel joined in on the mocking too. But as is usual with the easy chicks of this town even after the girl realized they were making fun of her, she was still into B.B. Reap.

Seriously, women of RhyDin? Seriously?

On a more serious note, our sources report back to us that Awful Ali collapsed in the Inn right in front of poor Lil’ Bit Lirssa! As if that poor girl’s life needed to get more traumatic! A group of people including Nigel, Mac, and some guy named Logan quickly rushed to Ali’s side. The Logan guy actually KICKED ALI IN THE CHEST WHILE HE WAS DOWN! No lie! Now there’s quite a few people in this city who’d like to give Awful Ali a good beating but… kicking him while he’s down??? That’s just WRONG! After only a couple moments, he started coming around much to Lil’ Bit Lirssa’s relief. We hear that The Many Faces of Fio showed up not too long after and Mac told her that Ali’s heart had stopped beating for a while. Crazy. We sure hope he’s okay!

We had heard of the rumors of Zev and Lilli but our sources had yet to catch them together. They didn’t seem to be hiding their relationship at all Sunday night as they sat hand-in-hand by the hearth quite cozy together. We hear that the notoriously private and quiet man was even overheard calling her “my dear” and had his hand alllll over her. Our bet is that the pair is already sleeping together. We’re not so sure about this. We thought that for sure Lilli had her eyes on a certain tender. We’re not tagging Zev and Lilli with a “happily ever after” stamp yet but there’s no denying that there’s a whole lot of chemistry going on there!

Down in the Annex a crowd gathered for Fight Night! Scotty was seen working up the courage to hop into a ring for the first time with his friend, Lil’ Black Book Jaycy, who was showing him the ropes. Scotty was overheard saying that his man, Harold, wasn’t too terribly thrilled about him dueling. Swords is safe enough thank to the ward (unless you’re the sort that the ward doesn’t work on) but Fists…. wow. Another story entirely. Harold did wander in as well to watch his hubby-to-be in a ring. He was seen on the sidelines with a cup of tea in hand, looking uncomfortable with seeing Scotty in a ring at first but gradually he seemed to grow more and more interested in what was going on. We think that Scotty might be hooked!

Evidently we were accused by Anya of spreading some rumor about Merchant Antonio that Crazy Train Tara had overheard. Even Collie defended us by saying it was not the sort of thing that we would say. Considering all the gossip we gather/spread is published, we’re unsure how we can be accused of spreading secret rumors but… whatever. We’re so done hearing of how Anya is using our blog to turn herself into some sort of victim that she won’t be in our blog anymore. Sometimes what is right is more important than increasing readership and, thus, revenue. In this situation, what is right is not feeding that ego.

FLAWLESS Koy and Maria had another face off and we’re STILL not entirely sure what it was about. All we know is that it was about some argument with her husband, MAN-tastic Matt, over a video. The tension was still high but not nearly as high as when the two had almost come to blows several nights before in the Outback. Two Crew members and friends of both women — Overlord Tical and Kheldar — stepped in to ease the tension. Again, it seemed to, unfortunately, do the trick because the tension eased and the women returned to watching the challenge at hand.

Oh, right! There was a challenge! The little fierce muffin, Aya, challenged that Death Lord guy for the right to the barony of New Haven! Unfortunately, Aya who is a very experienced warlord and former baron just didn’t have the goods on that particular night to take down the less experienced baron. We still think it’s ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS that ritzy New Haven is represented in the Arena by the walking undead. We’re just shocked that there hasn’t been a bigger movement among the people that live there to get him thrown out on his ear. Come on, people of New Haven! Do we have to spell it out for you? Put together a monetary prize for the warlord that can bring down the baron! Make it worth their while!

Congratulations, Death Lord…. we guess.

Edited: January 19th, 2010

Biggest, Baddest Sunday!

We hear that Brale Brother Reap and Elite Eleanor were once again spotted together at the bar having a quiet discussion and were seen leaving together. He has seemed to be on his best behavior as of late and our sources have even described him as “attentive” to Elite Eleanor. We have to start wondering. Could that woman really turn one of the Inn’s biggest bad boys around??? That would be a feat to write home about!

Lil’ Bit Lirssa was behind the bar of the Red Dragon Inn Sunday night helping Head of the Fam Johnny out as he tended. Things got quite dramatic when some teenage boy came in and upset Lirssa to the point that she was crying! And yelling at him! So not like Lil’ Bit Lirssa AT. ALL. We hear that H.O.T.F. Johnny had to hold L.B. Lirssa back and Mama Hen Sianna along with Kendall tried to stop the boy. He evidently put up one heck of a fight and left both ladies bruised before disappearing. Awful Ali and the Many Faces of Fio showed up just in time to console L.B. Lirssa who seemed quite shaken by the entire incident. Wow.

Chief Mischief Maker Eless was seen looking fabulous with the lovely Potter Piper! Yep, you saw that right! Potter Piper was in public! We hear that she’s been quite busy with her work and her friends have given her quite the hard time about being more social so we shall as well now. WE MISS YOU, POTTER PIPER!!! Oddly enough, one of Potter’s best friends, Real Estate Mogul Rena, was not with the duo. In fact, our sources say it’s been about a week since they’ve seen her in public. We sure hope she’s okay! We do hear that Potter Piper was quite interested to hear about R.E.M. Rena’s new man, Rico. Don’t you think that Potter Piper is going to totally dig Rico???

Some things never change! And one of those is PAAAARTY Girl Chase! She may occasionally switch out her drinking buddies. These days it seems that some chick named Scully is doing the honors. Yet, P.G. Chase remains the hard drinking, low brow humor loving girl that we’ve all come to know and feel sorry for. She hung out with her friend, Scully, and Scully’s man, Playboy Shane. He had just broken up with a girl when we went on hiatus and we hear that he’s already living with this one! Evidently the idea of ‘taking it slow’ has never crossed his mind.

Grumbling Grem sighting! Seriously! We’re not even playing! And it seems that he and Mad Cow Kazzy are still going just as strong as ever. They were seen all lovey dovey in the Inn laaaaate into the night. We hear that he’s been kept pretty busy with work but luckily for his work habits he has the most easily distracted girlfriend in the entire world. By the way, M.C. Kazzy was twirling a purple sparkly baton Sunday night. No idea why. The girl is completely bonkers but in an entirely amusing sort of way!

Down in the Inn’s basement Annex, a crowd gathered for not only the Fight Night duels but also a challenge match for the Old Temple Barony! Old Man Tass pressed challenge against the Loyal Baron Xanth but nobody was going to let it be that easy. The Overlord Anubis who stood as his baron’s second interceded on behalf of the baron which O.M. Tass found a bit surprising. We’re not so sure why he thought the Overlord wouldn’t test him. Could another Warlord have made a deal with him??? Either way, Anubis wasn’t backing down so the renegade Baron Lil’ Black Book Jaycy stepped in to champion O.M. Tass. After a looooong duel, L.B.B. Jaycy was defeated and O.M. Tass had to step in. He was able to defeat Anubis but maybe the match wore his old legs out because when he finally got in the ring with the Baron, he didn’t seem to have much left. Xanth easily beat him and earned the right to hold on to his ring.

Congratulations, Baron Xanth!

There were quite a few people on hand to watch the match! The Our Darling Twin Taneths were present and sporting cute little cheerleader outfits complete with pompoms in order to support O.M. Tass. For some reason we’re really just not at all surprised by the many Taneths. All the more cuteness in our book! The Taneths were overheard trying to convince Joex that he should let them find him a ’sweetheart’. OMG! That would be awesome. We’re all about Joex getting a girl!

Rumor has it that Merchant Antonio found his way into the Arena Sunday night. We still think that he’s being drugged. No way does a conservative, macho guy like Merchant Antonio like the fact that his wife-to-be Kid Doc Anya is not only banging another guy but plans to marry another guy on the same day she’s marrying him. This is really the most bizarre thing ever. We still think he’s going to wise up and end this before the wedding date. He’s not even hanging out with his old friends anymore! There are so many alarm bells going off over this one! We’re just shocked and dismayed it’s continued this long!

We hear that Merchant Antonio did talk to some of his friends a little while K.D. Anya hung off her newest man, Darien, who evidently was whispering sweet nothings in her ear even while M. Antonio was nearby. Yuck. Anyway, M. Antonio did get an opportunity to briefly catch up with Ms. Wyh Not as she called the Fight Night duels and she even introduced him to her lovely friend, Roran.

Deliciously Sinful Sin seemed to think it was a good idea to give Rowdy Rekah a Badsider. Yeah, you read that right. We hear she got a weeee bit tipsy! We’ve got a feeling that Awful Ali and D.S. Sin are going to have words about this. We only hope that we get to be in the room when they do!

Edited: December 21st, 2009

Eat Crow Monday!

Our sources spotted AJ and her recently wed husband, Stas, Monday night in the Red Dragon Inn. We hear that he was accompanying her because he didn’t want his pregnant wife to put up posters for the upcoming Art Festival in the Inn by herself since it can be a rough place! HAHAHA! Clearly Stas doesn’t know about his wife’s trip to SLUTtacious Darcy’s birthday party (definitely a rough crowd) and that she’s been spotted in dueling venues (do crowds get any rougher than those?)! We think AJ can hold her own quite nicely.

Evidently she was overheard talking about “the newborns” to Doc Anya. Oh no!!!! The RhyDin Maternity Curse strikes again! Really, some fertility doctor needs to figure out what it is about the place that makes women get pregnant so easily and what makes them get pregnant with multiples at such alarming rates! We can’t believe nobody’s thought to open a fertility clinic here in RhyDin! It would totally become the place to get pregnant!

The Many Faces of Fio looked awfully relieved to see Rekah. We have no idea why! Sometimes it’s best not to ask questions about what goes on in those girls’ heads. Awful Ali was present and chaperoning of course. His life seems like one big sleep over in which he must chaperone some combination of T.M.F.O. Fio, Rekah, Our Darling Taneth, Deliciously Sinful Sin, or Sullen Sal. It’s no wonder he’s always pouring himself a stiff drink!

Speaking of Sullen Sal, it seems that he could have used a bit more chaperoning Monday night as well. He was seen on the porch having some sort of knock out-drag out fight…. with a crow. Yeah, no lie! Evidently the crow didn’t take too kindly to the fact that Sullen Sal flung a knife at it and went for his eyes! It took some pretty young woman to pry the two apart. Odd!

Now we make fun of Awesome Alain all the time for using the Red Dragon Inn for business meetings so we must also make fun of Merchant Antonio for using the Outback for a similar fashion! Seriously, don’t you people have offices??? Wouldn’t business be better conducted in a more professional environment??? To make matters worse, it seems that Merchant Antonio is having that odd little Misty girl transport some of his merchandise. We don’t know if that’s the wisest decision. She’s a bit… different, isn’t she??? We’ll have to keep an eye out for her!

Our Darling Taneth was hanging around watching duels and cheering on her husband Tormay! The pair seemed quite happy and there was no lingering evidence of the frighteningly bad mood that O.D. Taneth was in the week prior. We sure hope whatever it was that was wrong has worked itself out!

We’re still not buying whatever that Rico guy’s selling but we have to admit he seems a bit popular among the womenfolk! He was spotted Monday night in the Outback as the target of a lot of eyelash batting by some big-lipped awfully sexually-charged little thing. We hear she kept calling him “lover”! Oh, gag us with a spoon!

Edited: August 13th, 2009

Tag Wednesday!

Crazy Risa always seems to have a good idea or two up her sleeve and her shift behind the bar Wednesday night in the Red Dragon Inn was no exception! Every patron was given a white t-shirt and provided with all sorts of markers and paint pens with the goal of writing on one another’s t-shirts. Are we the only one with the visual of Deliciously Sinful Sin walking around the room with marker in hand to sign every breast in the place? No? We didn’t think so.

Unfortunately, D.S. Sin wasn’t present but quite a few of the Inn’s other regulars were!

The Many Faces of Fio drew quite the masterpiece on Awful Ali’s and he jotted down something on her’s in some language that our sources present couldn’t read. The pair were quite into each other once again! They get cuter by the day to us. It’s hard to hate Awful Ali when he is so good to T.M.F.O. Fio! Plus, we’re sure that with all her bad ass friends constantly shooting him the evil eye he knows better than to hurt her!

The merry-makers just couldn’t get SPLENDIFEROUS Kairee into a t-shirt but she was seen doodling on several people by some sort of magical means. She always seems to have a handful of male admirers that want her attention. Wednesday night was no exception.

Lizard King Bran was seen in a t-shirt proclaiming him the “triple crown winner” in recognition of having claimed all three of the top titles in the dueling world. In an interesting mix of personalities, he was seen chatting with Cutie Carley who seemed to be having a blast! Cutie Carley really loved the markers, especially Crazy Risa’s scented ones! We’re going to have to make sure we send her a box along with the back issues of the GangSTAR that she’s missed!

It seems that Lil’ Lirssa’s friends are thrilled to have her back. Still no word as to her disappearance. Head of the Fam Johnny seemed to be keeping a careful eye on her as was Lil’ Boy Blue Locke.  Lil’ Lirssa was overheard telling L.B.B. Locke that she no longer speaks to any of the Smiths! It’s certainly hard to tell when L. Lirssa is telling the truth and when she’s yanking someone’s chain but our sources SWEAR that she’s serious. L.B.B. Locke asked why but all L. Lirssa would say was that it was for her own reasons.

Later she was overheard talking to Doc Anya about Merchant Antonio. It seems that Lil’ Lirssa, like may of us, is quite disappointed in his life decisions. Much of the city is talking about this issue so we will merely add our opinion this once before being done with the issue. Life is tough. The world which we live in is hard and everyone needs a partner to get through it. Marriage is between two people — be it a man and a woman or a woman and a woman or a man and a man or a fox and an goblin or a elf and one of those green people that Awesome Alain has working for him. A marriage between two people commits them to a life of protecting one another, being there for one another, and putting their family (even if family means just the two of them) before anything or anyone else. Marrying two people is disrespectful to the institution. If you want to have two men to sleep with and enjoy the company of, fine. Grown adults may do whatever grown adults want. However, you cannot commit yourself to a life of being there for two different people. It flies in the face of everything that marriage stands for.

Do not give up hope, Lil’ Lirssa. There are many fine examples of marriage in this city. Perhaps this publication should work a little bit harder to promote those relationships rather than the train wrecks that while more entertaining are disheartening to many.

Edited: June 21st, 2009

Spray For Dragons Wednesday!

Ugh! Gag us with a freaking spoon!

We hate to say anything vaguely positive about Slimy Doc Anya and her merry band of Yes Women but…. we do love Marvelous Mira. It seems that the group held a party in the Red Dragon Inn to celebrate her being released from the hospital. We still have very few details in regards to the reason behind her stay but we’re working diligently on it. She was still in a wheelchair Wednesday night and interestingly enough it was not True pushing the chair. We hear that it was a gentleman by the name of Darius! Iiiinteresting. We knew that True should have married that girl when he had the chance.

She Devil Aja was present and accounted for. Also of note, we’re hearing some wild rumors about her love life. We cannot substantiate them and, you know us, we ALWAYS make sure a story is true before we print it! Of course, Slimy Doc Anya was there and being escorted with Boy Toy #1 Antonio. How the mighty bachelor has sunk! It makes us sad to see him regulated to purse carrier. This is the man behind Passion, people!!! We’re POSITIVE that S.D. Anya is drugging him.

Aw! Poor dear sweet Cutie Carley was overheard asking Head of the Clan Johnny if he had seen any of her former boyfriend. H.O.T.C. Johnny’s answer was not what Cutie Carley wanted to hear. We hate to tell her but we have had NO recent spottings of him. We do so hope these two get back together. Our love for Cutie Carley is never ending. There’s always a blue feather plume topped pen with her name on it her at the Den!

OMG! We’re guessing that May and Randy Rix are no longer together! The little jello tramp was seen laying QUITE the smooch on Neo and telling him that she wanted to do body shots off of him! Wow. That girl must have been TOASTY! Neo actually appeared a bit frightened. We hear that She Devil Aja promised to protect him from those scary jello girls. Niiiice, girls. Real nice. Scare the poor boy, why don’t you???

Oh, Lord. We TOLD the Gov and TOLD the Gov that he should use his little flying army to spray for dragons but nobody ever listens to us! And now look! Icer is pregnant again and about to unleash another squadron of her young on the unsuspecting public. She was seen along with her husband, Aurthur, enjoying the festivities of Mira’s party. Somebody really needs to track Aurthur down and neuter him. Enough is enough, people!

Seeing Prof. Jolyon and Ballerina Katarina all cozy at the bar over a bottle of win makes us wonder yet again why these two are now seeing other people! They definitely have some fine chemistry and similar interests. We wouldn’t be surprised at all if eventually they do end up in one another’s arms! Somebody should clue in Real Estate Mogul Rena and Lil’ Boy Blue Locke that they better keep those two away from one another!

Edited: June 14th, 2009