SURPRISE Wednesday!

It was a night of surprises Wednesday night in the Red Dragon Inn!

Lang was overheard telling Kacey that he got married a couple months back! Kacey was awfully surprised… and so are we! We’re still not completely sold that this mystery girl actually exists but we’ve put our sources to work on it over the last couple days and all reports are coming back that Lang actually did get married. We’re shocked! We really thought it was a ploy to get him action. Now we have to wonder why he keeps this girl hidden! Is she butt ugly or something???

You also could have knocked us over with a feather when our sources reported back that PAARTY Girl Chase was spotted with her sister in debauchery, PAARTY Girl Atalanta! The pair, of course, hit the booze first and foremost. They gabbed with one another but as usual our sources could barely understand any of it. The two of them have their own secret language that we truly believe is uncrackable. Have some super secret messages to send? Have these girls write them and translate them. It doesn’t matter how many fall into enemy hands, they’ll never understand them in a million years.

We were also startled to hear that Wolv and Fierce Aly were seen out in public!!! We have a theory that the two of them are never seen in public together because he spends most of his time jumping her bones. Seriously, who could blame him. She’s literally the. hottest. woman. in. RhyDin. She totally OOOOZES sexy in her over the top, ridiculous sort of way! We LOVE her! Wolv chatted up his buddy in all adventures dangerous and deadly, Awesome Alain, while Fierce Aly did what she does best — stand around looking hot and making inappropriate comments. He should so let her out in public more often!

And continuing on the surprising theme — Awesome Alain was heard threatening violence against the mobs!!! Okay… so that’s not exactly surprising. In fact, it’s pretty darn predictable. It seems that he is most certainly not a fan of  Prop 37. In fact, he’s not a fan of government getting in the way of his business interests at all. He definitely had some support in the room, though. Kacey, Lang, and Prof. Jolyon all spoke up in agreement. Interestingly enough, it was Archmage Venom Vinny himself that seemed to support the proposal! Are you serious??? The Archmage is a supporter of it! Insanity!

Back on the surprising theme, Prof. Jolyon approached The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker to ask his permission to date Sassy Serena!!! NO LIE!!! The two of them haven’t even been spotted together recently. We were DEAD certain that this fling was over and Prof. Jolyon had settled into a real relationship. We’re not entirely sure we buy our source’s information. We’re still shocked by it! We don’t even know what to think! What do YOU think??? A real love connection or is this some sort of trick???

Another appearance took us by surprise — Lizzie! She and Mad Cow Kazzy were in a booth pounding down alcohol. It’s nice to know some things don’t change, huh??? Anyway, it seems that M.C. Kazzy is still worried that Grumbling Grem is missing in action. But instead of going to Awesome Alain or another of his friends, she’s playing amateur detective. Seriously, at this rate, he’ll never be found! Still nice to see Lizzie out and about, though! She’s always good for a bit of gossip!

Edited: September 6th, 2009

EXPLOSION Thursday!

The Bum Phillipe hasn’t been seen around much! But twin newborns will do that to a man! It seems that he managed to get out for a while on Thursday night and was hanging at the bar with Minstrel Soerl! Ministrel Soerl was overheard saying that he and Luscious Lydia are actually engaged!!! OMG! We had no idea! Wowzers! Soerl didn’t remain long but T.B. Phillipe was joined by his wife, AJ. AJ certainly didn’t seem like her old sunny self but being incredibly over tired will do that to you. We just hope it’s not something more serious than that.

Playboy Shane was up to no good again!!! He was seen swatting at PAARTY GIRL Chase with a wet rag. P.G. Chase certainly gave him back as good as she got! That boy is Trouble and we do mean with a capital T! Now this is so the type of guy that we’ve been waiting for P.G. Chase to cheat on Brandon with! Speaking of a wet rag, we hear that Playboy Shane got quiet real fast once Jacinta walked in. Rumor has it that they’re dating… but shouldn’t that make him light up when she enters a room rather than look like a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar??? Color us curious!

Doc Anya is certainly looking forward to a change of seasons! We hear that she actually cut herself off from alcohol Thursday night for fear that she might become too reliant on it. The poor woman is totally STRESSED! We feel so awful for her. Hopefully, with the change in seasons, Riverview Clinic will have a change in fortunes! Merchant Antonio, take your girl on a much needed vacation already!

OMG! Cowboy Jake is back in town!!! And he came with a purpose!x4! He was overheard talking to Awesome Alain at the bar about Real Estate Mogul Rena! NO LIE!!! He’s evidently come back into town to woe her. Jake has has come back looking to steal R.E.M. Rena away from Prof. Jolyon. We totally HEART Cowboy Jake! Swoooooon! This is going to be such fun to watch!!!

Ballerina Katarina and Locke made an appearance in the Inn Thursday night as well! We do hope that they make this a regular occurrence! They truly are absolutely adorable together. Rumor has it that Ballerina Katarina has moved in with Sianna to help her take care of the babies and deal with Johnny’s…. well, we guess they’re still labeling it as a “disappearance”. The question remains — when will this group finally move past hoping for a return and instead begin facing his death.

Locke had a run in with his former flame, Atalanta! AWKWARD!!! We hear that the pair had a pow-wow at a booth while Ballerina Katarina chatted up her other friends.  Although, we don’t know what they were talking about, we don’t think Ballerina Katarina has ANYTHING to worry about. We hear that Atalanta and Locke’s body language was friendly but definitely non-romantic!

The first meeting between The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker and Doc Eva since his return started off awkward… and then just absolutely EXPLODED into some major fireworks!!! She totally caused a scene RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the Inn by cursing at him! It took Manly Mason and Chief Mischief Maker Eless to calm Doc Eva down while Saucy Serena walked T.W.H.T. Tucker out. MAJOR! WE SO CAN’T WAIT UNTIL NEXT THURSDAY!!!!

Rumors are starting to swirl that Awesome Alain and Saucy Serena have indeed broken up again! That may indeed be true as we have previously stated Saucy Serena was seen leaving with her Thursday night partner behind the bar, Tucker, and Awesome Alain spent much of his night chatting up Derby Girl Sami. We can so see A. Alain hooking up with D.G. Sami! That is so right up his alley!

Edited: March 22nd, 2009

Dirty, Dirty Deeds Wednesday!

We think Brandon is seconds away from losing PAARTY GIRL Chase to Crazy Train Tara! The two were looking AWFULLY cozy Wednesday in the bar. We hear that C.T. Tara was even seen whispering in Chase’s ear. Dirty, dirty girls do dirty, dirty deeds! C.T. Tara might actually be good for P.T. Chase. While the girl is crazier than our Uncle Rubert, she is NOT an enabler. She’d put a stop to P.G. Chase’s bad behavior. We’re kind of digging this idea!

And things might be getting even worse as Atalanta was once again seen in P.G. Chase’s presence. The pair were drinking and carrying on at the bar just like old times. We’re so sad! These girls need MAJOR HELP!

Wesker is certainly not letting Risa out of his sight. She was back behind the bar Wednesday night and he was a bar fixture through out her shift! Well, that’s one way to make sure that your girl doesn’t get hit on when she’s tending! There’s a couple other guys that might want to try that one out!

Aww! We were pleased to hear that our Darling Taneth was beside herself that The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker is back in town! She was seen giving him a giant bear hug Wednesday night! T.W.H.T. Tucker was pretty supportive of Taneth’s marriage. Interesting, no??? We expected him to go all big, burly, over protective brother! Instead, he said he was looking forward to meeting him. Hm. We’re not convinced! We’d love to be a fly on the wall when T.W.H.T meets Overlord Tormay, wouldn’t you???

That Eleanor chick is really moving in on BLUE Mish! She was seen flirting it up with him AGAIN Wednesday night at the bar. We hear that the girl seems quite sick and that BLUE Mish was seen looking out for her. This one just creeps us out. No long term potential at all. This Eleanor doesn’t seem like the good-natured, innocent girls that BLUE Mish tends to hang out with.

Our sources couldn’t help but overhear Kazzy announce (because she yelled it) to Grumbling Grem that Lizzie and Danny have had a baby! Pick your jaw up off the floor. Thankfully, the baby is not of the human variety but the canine. It seems the pair have taken the leap into coupledom by adopting a dog. Yep, they’re certainly mooooving right along. Marriage and a real baby won’t be too far behind!

We hear that young Roland gave quite the display of public affection to his lady, Veejay. Evidently upon spotting her, he rushed up to her and put her in a full on liplock. To insult our sources’ delicate sensibilities even further, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around him! These crazy kids these days. GET A ROOM!!! She’s evidently been away on business and, by the looks of things, we’re going to have to endure quite a few more of these type of scenes between the two in weeks and months to come.

The Smith girls were spotted in the Red Dragon Inn together for the first time since our return! We were so thrilled to see them and we wish that their lives were as carefree and joyous as when we left them! Ballerina Katarina and her cousin Juliane were joined by B. Katarina’s man, Lil Boy Blue Locke. We never would have thought those two would end up together but we hear it’s an adorable match! The trio guzzled beers and relaxed. They certainly could use a relaxing night with everything going on in their lives!

Edited: March 22nd, 2009

The Legend of Monday!

Sooo… has Lang found himself a new woman??? He was seen chatting with Booze Sis Alyssa and helping her fix her kite Sunday night in the Red Dragon Inn! We hear that Alyssa has made some choice comments about Lang’s sexual preference but we think that’s just a cover for the MAJOR CRUSH she has on him!!! She just wants him to scoop her up and prove otherwise. It’s really not all that shocking. We’ll never understand women (we doubt they even understand themselves) but Lang certainly seems to have some sort of pull over them!!!

Ew! Ever since Psycho Skid dumped Booze Sis Hina, he’s seemed a bit…. dirty and sleazy! He was at the bar catching up with SPLENDIFEROUS Kairee, running a hand up her leg. No, no, no! Don’t touch! We can’t have Psycho Skid and SPLENDIFEROUS Kairee hooking up. There’s just something very wrong about that! Their flirting was broke up by Banana Rama Bree who we hear was slightly PISSED at Psycho Skid but her moods seem to change with the wind. We do hear that she offered to give Skid’s son the birds and bees speech when they time comes. OMG!!! We would pay money to hear Banana Rama Bree give that talk!!!

PAARTY Girl Atalanta seemed AWFULLY curious over exactly what it is that SMASHING Issy and the Scath-babes do! Lil’ Boy Blue Locke better reign his girl in!!! We love the Scath-babes as much as the next guy (and they are waaaaay hot) but they’re certainly not what you look for in a girlfriend! They can be downright scary. Luckily, we don’t see PAARTY Girl Atalanta as the type to put down the booze long enough to go help SMASHING Issy and the girls fight for justice!

DoD-er FLAWLESS Koy was AGAIN looking a bit thick around the midsection when she was spotted in the Outback Monday night! We’re almost completely convinced that she’s pregnant! The rumors are really starting to run rampant! When is her camp going to finally come out and tell us the truth??? It’s a baby, not a scandal! Come on, DoD-er FLAWLESS Koy and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt! Don’t keep us in suspense any longer!

Jesse actually seemed a bit happy to spot old rival Cute Single Dad Bane later into the night in the Outback! We suppose he was hoping that C.S.D. Bane would clue the new kids in on the Legend of Jesse! We should be his ghost writer for that book. Despite his cockiness (or perhaps because of it), Jesse NEVER seems to have trouble keeping himself surrounded by pretty females. It seems that he’s been quick to find a bantering partner and Kazzy seems awfully willing to take the task! She may act like she dislikes him but, in the end, they ALWAYS wind up in bed with him!

Edited: May 30th, 2008

Dirty Dog Tuesday!

We hear that crazy girl Kazzy was planning the demise of someone or another Tuesday night in the Red Dragon Inn! She was overheard telling Grem and PAARTY Girl Atalanta that she wanted to trick someone in drinking toilet water from the Inn as there wouldn’t just be the gross factor but also a possibility of becoming pregnant. Ew! We really can’t even think about this for too long because it turns our stomach!

It seems the woman who invoked her ire was a young blonde named Lizzie and when she arrived Kazzy made a show of threatening Lizzie’s “close friend” Daniel in order to get what she wanted. What did Kazzy want? A baseball bat evidently. We’re told she uses the bat for dueling. Maybe this Kazzy girl is a Graziano. Sure would explain a lot, huh???

Awesome Alain was seen at the bar a bit later into the night offering PAARTY Girl Atalanta a full time gig that would include a number of duties such as tending at his bar and doing a bit of housecleaning! OMG! Come on! You’re thinking it too! You know you are! Awesome Alain is dirty, dirty dog! Just how quickly do you think he’s going to have PAARTY Girl Atalanta scrubbing his floors in a French maid costume??? What we wouldn’t do for pictures of THAT!!! Better keep an eye on your girl, Lil’ Boy Blue Locke!

Another night in the Inn equals another night of Antonio flirting it up with the ladies! Of course, Chief Mischief Maker Eless was among the bunch that also included the lovely Sylvia and Potter Piper! As a brawl erupted in the Inn, the ladies and their hunky companion decided to take a walk elsewhere. We’re still entirely convinced that there is some major chemistry between Antonio and C.M.M. Eless! We’re dyyyying to see where it leads!

We hear that Taneth was spotted in the Inn late into the night acting quite strangely! She was seen scowling at patrons and overheard muttering angrily to herself. Wowzers!!! We asked our sources several times if they were sure that it was her and they’ve sworn up and down that it was. She was even rude to Tass when he attempted to find out what was up, telling him to go away! We sure hope she’s okay!

Edited: May 24th, 2008