Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!

Edited: February 8th, 2010

Madness on Wheels Tuesday!

Awww! Poor Amber! The adorable little blonde was seen tending bar Tuesday night at the Red Dragon Inn and when asked if she had a boyfriend yet by a patron she responded that she did not and had never been on a date! We cannot allow this to happen, people. She’s far too cute. We’ll have to get on this case! We certainly can’t think of any single, decent guys off the top of our head. Most of them have some sort of major malfunction or are far too willing to take advantage of Amber’s naivety… but we’ll find one! Don’t you worry, Amber!

Another night, more Cutie Carley madness! We’re not really sure how she manages to get through a day on her own without someone hammering her into the ground…. but she keeps right on kicking! She was seen chatting with John about life in a wheelchair and why he didn’t just go see a healer to make it all better. John seemed to be experiencing a bit of culture shock while Carley tried to explain (oh, so politely, of course) what a healer was. However, Carley got distracted by Renna macking on someone and told Renna to get a room. Of course that led to Renna laying a pretty heated kiss on Carley and then Carley punching Renna in the face. Niiiiice, ladies.

Lucky Lawyer Lucien and Crazy Train Tara seemed to be having quite the intimate little chat laaaate into the night. Has he finally realized that there is no escaping C.T. Tara??? Is he dumping Bekah??? We feel sorry for him but he should probably just read the writing on the wall. There’s no way C.T. Tara’s going to be okay with his relationship. She’s never going to come to some sort of great realization on how L.L. Lucien deserves happiness and Bekah gives him that. Nope, eventually Bekah will die and C.T. Tara will be the one that kills her. And, honestly, you really can’t blame C.T. Tara. She’s like a wild animal. If you give her the opportunity to bite your hand off, she’ll bite your hand off and it’s really just your fault for sticking your hand in her cage in the first place!

Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan and her “girlfriend” (again, we use that term loosely since they are still banging/seeing other people), Joey, seemed to be having a bit of a spat Tuesday night on Twilight Isle while watching Tour duels commencing. It seems that S.P.G. Teagan was not too pleased that Joey stood her up which caused Joey to get all teary eyed over issues as of late. S.P.G. Teagan seems to be a sucker for hot girl’s tears, though. As soon as Joey started crying, she got all consoling and protective. If we didn’t think that the only reason S.P.G. Teagan did it was to get laid, it might have been sort of cute.

Evidently, Misty’s gone crazy. At least that’s what our sources report back to us. She was seen twitching and looking almost dead in Thorne’s arms one minute and then snarling and sneering at Simmering Sivanna the next. Hearing that she’s crazy makes the news that she’s doing the nasty with Thorne a bit easier to understand and deal with. Anyway! Dris is somehow involved as well but our sources couldn’t make sense of many of the details. In fact, they report that the group doesn’t seem to understand what’s happening themselves. We sure hope Misty’s okay, though!

Edited: February 2nd, 2010

Love Him Sunday!

Lilli was seen with the handsome White Knight Julian chatting at the Red Dragon Inn Sunday night! It’s nice to see him back around and we’re pleased to see Lilli attended to by such a handsome man! We would never peg him as the type to be interested in a free spirit like Lilli but you never can tell what a man will be into! We hear that their conversation was briefly interrupted as Darcy came over to give Lilli a hug since she hadn’t seen her since…. well, everybody seems to be politely dancing around the truth so we suppose we should as well. We do have to admit that as much as we complain about her, we’re glad she’s back and looking happy.

Aymeric and Fiora are such hilarious little troublemakers! Fiora practically begged a sandwich off of Joey with Aymeric in the background telling Joey not to “feed the addiction” as it seems that the girl has a thing for sandwiches. We were pretty surprised to hear that despite all their back and forth bickering, Fiora actually admitted that she has seen Aymeric naked and that it is “good”. Wow. As for Joey, she was pretty amused by the pair but was hobbling around in some pain. She assured anyone who asked that she had just slipped on some ice and hit her hip. It’s a dangerous time of year! Stay safe, boo!

Remember that girl we were talking about that was such a hard ass? Vanessa? Yeah, strike that! These girls always look good and tough until you see them swooning over some completely random guy. We’re disappointed that it wasn’t even a full week later and already she’s looking all googly-eyed at some guy probably not worth her time. We’re tired of the women in this city settling for less than they deserve! We should totally start a match-making venture.

Harper has been seen with that John guy an awful lot. Our sources say that they were seen playing a board game Sunday night and she made a vague mention about making him dinner. Super cute! Good luck to him with that! We bet she’s pretty feisty! All the good ones are! John was overheard telling Mega Mom Icer that her kids are awfully loud and suggesting she buys them a muzzle next Christmas. LOVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW!!! We hear that Mega Mom Icer actually agreed with him but with as many kids as she’s got we’re willing to be there’s more than one of them she’d like to muzzle at any given time.

A crowd gathered in the Arena Sunday night to see if the Warlord Guill could take down his former friend, Baroness of Dragon’s Gate, Teagan. It seems he had some lingering issues with her over the incident surrounding the challenge in which she lost her Overlord title. As the second baroness he called dishonorable in less than a month, this challenge seemed even less popular than his last. Even his friends seemed to be rooting against him!

Even Sullen Sal who seemed to agree with Guill that Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan and Lil’ Black Book Jaycy’s actions at that particular challenge were… well, morally questionable would be one way to put it… thought that Guill had acted like in idiot. We hear that Sullen Sal was overheard telling Collie that Guill talks too much. Well, that’s not exactly what he said. Add in a half dozen curse words of your choice and you’ll have a more accurate quote.

Evidently Santa got Deliciously Sinful Sin a pony for Christmas. Le sigh. At least he wasn’t given a gun like Crazy Train Tara was! We suppose we should give thanks for small miracles. Anyway, D.S. Sin who was calling took a quiet moment during a lull in the action to name his pony. For all those out there who are just dying to know what D.S. Sin would name a pony, the answer is Chunzy. And why would D.S. Sin name his pony Chunzy? Because Psycho Skid told him to, of course!

Unfortunately for Guill, he didn’t even get a chance to face Teagan in a ring. The Overlord Tical decided to step in on behalf of his loyal baroness and defeated Guill, destroying his chance to go on and face Teagan for the Dragon’s Gate barony. We hear that while Teagan was grateful to the Overlord for intervening, she was disappointed not to have the opportunity to beat on Guill herself. Guill, on the other hand, was quite the beaten man. We hear he’s said that he’s not going to be challenging for some time and that he  was seen in a long discussion with Aja, Anya, and Neo. It seems he’s determined to work pretty hard to get back in good graces with his friends.

Congratulations, Teagan!

Edited: January 5th, 2010