Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!

Edited: February 8th, 2010

Total Score Tuesday!

The always lovely Jenai walked into the Red Dragon Inn Tuesday night to quite the unusual scene. Well, yeah, unusual scenes going down in the Inn are actually usual in that they happen everyday…. but anyway, stick with us here. So Jenai walked in to find Harper and Crazy Train Tara knee deep in some sort of wood-working project. It seems that they were building an advice giving stand. Yep, C.T. Tara wants to give out advice. Oh, come on!!! You know that’s just the sort of train wreck that nobody in this city would be able to resist being a part of! We know that we’d wait in line for HOURS for C.T. Tara’s advice. How fabulous!

Nigel and Brale Brother Reap are certainly a special breed of man. We’re just not sure if it’s the good sort of special or the crazy sort of special! The two men were seen in the Inn dressed in armor. Yep. Heavy plated metal. At first we were thoroughly confused as to why they were sitting at the bar dressed in armor drinking whiskey and talking to Eleanor. Then one of our sources caught them explaining the outfits to Awful Ali by telling him that it was “Eleanor Day”. Wow. What do you think? The good sort of special or the crazy sort of special? Or maybe both?

Oddly enough, our sources say that they saw Our Darling Taneth reprimanding herself and pinching herself to get her own attention… well, sort of. One Taneth was reprimanding the other Taneth and pinched her which made the other Taneth not so happy. This entire thing is getting increasingly odd. We’re really sad about what is happening to poor O.D. Taneth… and Tormay is STILL MIA! We have to wonder what he’s up to. Is he searching for the answer? Could he just not take watching his wife turn into this? Our heart breaks for him!

FLAWLESS Koy was seen chatting with Juliane about the new art gallery she’s helping to open in New Haven which will feature art from a number of artists! It sounds fabulous! The brownstone it’s housed in is lovely. We cannot wait to get our first peak at the interior and the art! It seems FLAWLESS Koy was excited to do what she could to support the business which is located in the same district as her boutique. In fact, the two businesses aren’t too far from each other at all. FLAWLESS Koy was interested in using the space to host one of the events during upcoming Fashion Week! How fantastic would it be to have a party there to celebrate some up and coming designer! Fashion + Art + Alcohol = TOTAL SCORE!

We. Die. How many times in The Dread Pirate Stephen’s life do you think he’s been told by some enraged parent not to touch their daughter??? Well, Tuesday night it was Mega Mom Icer’s turn to lay down the warning and we hear that she did it with a slap! Right across T.D.P. Stephen’s face! Evidently, however, he wasn’t touching some poor unsuspecting girl in the way you’re thinking. Nope! It seems that he was so drunk that he thought one of those little baby dragons always running around all over the place was a rat… and he tried to slap the “rat” with his sword. We think that the dragon infestation this city faces is actually worse than any rat infestation it faces!

There wasn’t a whole heck of a lot of action in the rings Tuesday night but there was a squire tournament held by Maria, the Baroness of Old Temple. A handful of competitors showed up to battle it out for the spot but in the end it was Kalinda who took top honors. Congratulations, Kalinda!

Edited: January 20th, 2010

Love Him Sunday!

Lilli was seen with the handsome White Knight Julian chatting at the Red Dragon Inn Sunday night! It’s nice to see him back around and we’re pleased to see Lilli attended to by such a handsome man! We would never peg him as the type to be interested in a free spirit like Lilli but you never can tell what a man will be into! We hear that their conversation was briefly interrupted as Darcy came over to give Lilli a hug since she hadn’t seen her since…. well, everybody seems to be politely dancing around the truth so we suppose we should as well. We do have to admit that as much as we complain about her, we’re glad she’s back and looking happy.

Aymeric and Fiora are such hilarious little troublemakers! Fiora practically begged a sandwich off of Joey with Aymeric in the background telling Joey not to “feed the addiction” as it seems that the girl has a thing for sandwiches. We were pretty surprised to hear that despite all their back and forth bickering, Fiora actually admitted that she has seen Aymeric naked and that it is “good”. Wow. As for Joey, she was pretty amused by the pair but was hobbling around in some pain. She assured anyone who asked that she had just slipped on some ice and hit her hip. It’s a dangerous time of year! Stay safe, boo!

Remember that girl we were talking about that was such a hard ass? Vanessa? Yeah, strike that! These girls always look good and tough until you see them swooning over some completely random guy. We’re disappointed that it wasn’t even a full week later and already she’s looking all googly-eyed at some guy probably not worth her time. We’re tired of the women in this city settling for less than they deserve! We should totally start a match-making venture.

Harper has been seen with that John guy an awful lot. Our sources say that they were seen playing a board game Sunday night and she made a vague mention about making him dinner. Super cute! Good luck to him with that! We bet she’s pretty feisty! All the good ones are! John was overheard telling Mega Mom Icer that her kids are awfully loud and suggesting she buys them a muzzle next Christmas. LOVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW!!! We hear that Mega Mom Icer actually agreed with him but with as many kids as she’s got we’re willing to be there’s more than one of them she’d like to muzzle at any given time.

A crowd gathered in the Arena Sunday night to see if the Warlord Guill could take down his former friend, Baroness of Dragon’s Gate, Teagan. It seems he had some lingering issues with her over the incident surrounding the challenge in which she lost her Overlord title. As the second baroness he called dishonorable in less than a month, this challenge seemed even less popular than his last. Even his friends seemed to be rooting against him!

Even Sullen Sal who seemed to agree with Guill that Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan and Lil’ Black Book Jaycy’s actions at that particular challenge were… well, morally questionable would be one way to put it… thought that Guill had acted like in idiot. We hear that Sullen Sal was overheard telling Collie that Guill talks too much. Well, that’s not exactly what he said. Add in a half dozen curse words of your choice and you’ll have a more accurate quote.

Evidently Santa got Deliciously Sinful Sin a pony for Christmas. Le sigh. At least he wasn’t given a gun like Crazy Train Tara was! We suppose we should give thanks for small miracles. Anyway, D.S. Sin who was calling took a quiet moment during a lull in the action to name his pony. For all those out there who are just dying to know what D.S. Sin would name a pony, the answer is Chunzy. And why would D.S. Sin name his pony Chunzy? Because Psycho Skid told him to, of course!

Unfortunately for Guill, he didn’t even get a chance to face Teagan in a ring. The Overlord Tical decided to step in on behalf of his loyal baroness and defeated Guill, destroying his chance to go on and face Teagan for the Dragon’s Gate barony. We hear that while Teagan was grateful to the Overlord for intervening, she was disappointed not to have the opportunity to beat on Guill herself. Guill, on the other hand, was quite the beaten man. We hear he’s said that he’s not going to be challenging for some time and that he  was seen in a long discussion with Aja, Anya, and Neo. It seems he’s determined to work pretty hard to get back in good graces with his friends.

Congratulations, Teagan!

Edited: January 5th, 2010

Fall Talon of Redwin Tournament!

The Talon of Redwin Tournament, in honor of the GREAT former Overlord Siera Redwin, is the perfect time to witness some of the Arena’s hottest new talent go head-to-head! To make it even better the tournament is sponsored by Red Orc Brewery which makes Badsider Brew! The Arena’s hottest young talent dueling their hearts out + the title holders watching for their new competition + Badsiders flowing freely = an excellent night of drama!

We hear that Darien was busy interviewing potential employees for that piece of crap Post while the match was on going. Evidently some graphic designer/cartoonist was looking for a gig. We have to wonder what’s wrong with him to be unable to get a job with a legitimate news organization. Yeah. Burn. When asked why he wanted to work for the Post, the interviewee stated that it was a “professional” news organization, not just another “gossip rag”. Hilarious! We. Die.

Iiiiinteresting! We hear that the Baron Tormay was trying to get Sal to join his house — House deGorol! Baron Tormay had quite the sales pitch in attempting to get Sullen Sal to bite. We have to wonder why the baron would put so much effort into getting a commoner with a record barely over .500 on board. Could he see something in Sullen Sal that caused him to pick him out of the crowd for an invitation into his dueling house??? As this is a brand new house we have little to go on when it comes to Tormay’s skill in finding young talent but he was overheard saying that if Tormay didn’t believe he was a horrible student, he just had to “ask Jaycy”…. a clear reference to the falling out the pair had when Sullen Sal was Lil’ Black Book Jaycy’s squire!

While Sullen Sal was busy turning Tormay down, Deliciously Sinful Sin had found another way to amuse himself! Flirting with a lovely young woman who called herself Harper. He was pretty shameless as always and even personally invited her to the dueling showcase he was hosting the following Tuesday. We suppose that you just sort of become used to this sort of behavior out of D.S. Sin after you’ve been with him for a while. He’ll certainly never change! In fact, our sources say there was even a discussion about a dinner date between the two while Sullen Sal looked on with a bored expression!

PIMP Imp was in rare form in more ways than one! He managed to hit on pretty much every woman that stepped foot in the Arena, including his opponents! He faced off in the second round against former Talon winner, Ms. Wyh Not! Our sources tell us that he even tried to convince her that he was the Overlord and that she should have his babies. Now we’re usually of the mind set that babies are ALWAYS cute but…. baby imps??? Even if the womenfolk were quick to turn down Imp’s advances, nobody could match Imp’s skill! He sailed through the tournament into the final round to face off against Thorne but even Thorne couldn’t keep Imp from taking the win!

Congratulations, Imp!

Edited: December 25th, 2009