But All The Cool Kids Are Experimenting Friday!

We’re dyyyying to know exactly when Cutie Carley’s relationship with Cy moved past the friendship zone! We weren’t sure if they would ever cross that line! However, they certainly seemed more than friends Friday night when our sources caught sight of them in the Red Dragon Inn. They were sharing goofy grins and he even was seen patting her leg. You know… we were hoping that these two would get together but now that they have we’re left wondering if he’s good enough for her! She is the most adorable thing on the face of the planet!

Lil’ Bit Lirssa was tending the bar and Kendall and Serena were there with her. We hear that Serena was telling the girls that The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker is better now! We’re super glad to hear that. Evidently all that commotion the night before led to Doc Eva cutting out whatever it was that was causing him to act like… well, like a dirty old man. When he felt up Our Darling Taneth a couple weeks back that was really the last straw. We’re glad that somebody finally did something! Now if only somebody will do something to help O.D. Taneth!

Oh, wow. Has Darcy had a healthy relationship??? Mega Mom Icer was overheard trying to calm her “daughter” down but not much seemed to be working. Somehow Darcy’s current boyfriend, Shadow, made her so angry that she made quite the scene. There was screaming, pounding on doors, and death threats. We hear that she COMPLETELY embarrassed herself by going all crazy girlfriend on him. Later when she finally calmed down a bit she was seen in tears, singing some sad love song. Le sigh. Will this girl ever gain some self-respect???

L.B. Lirssa was seen chatting with Lucky Lawyer Lucien! It seems that some believe she would be better off going off to boarding school! Aw! How sad would that make us??? We’ve got to say, though, it might actually be in her best interest. If she has the friends that can pay for some fancy boarding school, why should she remain in RhyDin tending bar and running the streets??? We hear that she didn’t seem really keen on talking about the subject and instead forced L.L. Lucien to tell her about all the fights he’s been getting into recently. Iiiiinteresting! Our sources couldn’t hear the details which is really a shame because we’d love to hear the explanation for L.L. Lucien’s recent short temper!

What…??? Brale Brother Reap asked L.L. Lucien if he would be okay with him…. well, doing something that even we can’t repeat to Crazy Train Tara!!! Does he have a death wish??? L.L. Lucien told him that he should go for it and C.T. Tara told L.L. Lucien that she would think of him while she was doing the nasty with B.B. Reap. Awesome. Nigel was seen talking quietly to B.B. Reap during this whole incident and perhaps he was able to get through to him because at the end of the night C.T. Tara went her way and B.B. Reap went another. One of the interns believes that B.B. Reap probably just did it to tick off Anubis. We’re not so sure, though. We doubt Anubis holds out hope that C.T. Tara is holding out for him and him alone.

We just do NOT get the rules of Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan and Joey’s relationship. It seems that while they are dating one another, they both have other men that they’re interested in. We’re not sure who Joey’s new man is but evidently S.P.G. Teagan’s guy is named Emmerich. According to our sources S.P.G. Teagan really seems to dig this guy. Not enough to give up Joey, though. We still think that this is just a phase in Joey’s life and that Teagan’s going to be hurt pretty darn bad when she moves on. In fact, our sources say that S.P.G. Teagan has invited Joey to move in with her but Joey declined. Iiiinteresting! Maybe S.P.G. Teagan wants to get serious with Joey but it’s Joey that doesn’t want to get serious with S.P.G. Teagan???

Harris hasn’t decided to start dueling again (which certainly would be a sight as he is a living Outback legend) but he has taken to hanging out in his old haunts again. Even G’naughty G’nort seemed a bit surprised to see him hanging out and causing trouble down there once again. We can only hope that this return to the dueling venues is followed by his wife’s return. We have heard some GLORIOUS stories about her!

Also worth mentioning is that Kitty was seen in the Annex with her husband… who is now sporting breasts. Yeah, for some reason Tass is a woman. We have no idea why and it’s one of those things where you just don’t want to know any additional information, you know?

Edited: February 13th, 2010

Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!

Edited: February 8th, 2010

Do The Reap Friday!

OMG! Say it ain’t so, Tucker??? We hear that he was back in the Red Dragon Inn Friday night throwing back drinks harder than usual and hitting on yet another round of trashy women! We’re starting to agree with Crazy Train Tara. He really has turned into a pod person! Despite several of the women seeming quite interested in heading home with The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker, he ended up storming out of the Inn all by himself. For a man that’s spending a lot of time hitting on women, he doesn’t seem to be taking any of them home. This whole thing is really odd.

Harris has a great ability to annoy beautiful young women until they like him. It’s a completely inexplicable talent but that’s exactly what he does! He made Sarah fall and spill the bags she was carrying. Then he refused to help her pick up the items that had spilled out. Yet, she still had a seat with him and a pretty lengthy discussion. We’re at a complete loss here. Why do you women keep giving this man the time of day??? First of all, he’s married. Second of all, he’s not all that good looking. And third of all, he’s kind of a jerk!

Speaking of Harris, we really think that someone should have a good long talk with the Governor about enacting some sort of law that forces him and Brale Brother Reap to remain at a certain distance from one another. We here at the Den of Gossip think that only bad things can happen when the two of them get together! They drank at the bar together for quite a while Friday night. B.B. Reap was asking Harris if it was true that Harris tricked Nigel into paying his bar tab instead of B.B. Reap’s for Christmas. Harris denied the charge and then proceeded to show B.B. Reap a dance that he made in his honor. Our sources claim that the dance looks a lot like a fish flopping around on the ground to its death. Cute.

O.M.G. We’re not sure what exactly is bigger news. Evidently our sources claim to have spotted Crazy Train Tara and The Many Faces of Fio deeeeep in conversation late into the night. C.T. Tara evidently made some sort of comment that suggested T.M.F.O. Fio is pregnant. Typically, we wouldn’t even bother to report C.T. Tara’s insane ramblings but this comes on the heels of the news that Lil’ Bit Lirssa made a similar comment several days prior. Wow. If that’s true… just wow. Considering all of T.M.F.O. Fio’s issues, that just doesn’t seem like the sort of additional responsibility that poor Awful Ali needs in his life. We’re still not convinced it’s true, though. Anyway, we also hear that T.M.F.O. Fio was overheard suggesting to C.T. Tara that Lucky Lawyer Lucien can’t…. well, do the deed…. if you know what we’re saying. That was the only bit of the conversation that our sources could catch but we are dying to know more! So many women’s fantasies would be ruined by that news!

We totally HEART Cutie Carley! It seems that she’s been seen back in the usual haunts lately with her friend Cy. In fact, Friday night she was spotted in the Annex to catch some duels. She evidently confronted Jay for making moves on Mad Cow Kazzy, calling her “Grem’s girl”. She seemed quite convinced that Grumbling Grem was totally going to beat Jay up for getting close with his girl. Somehow the conversation took a turn for Cutie Carley explaining the birds and the bees to Jay! No lie! Jay quickly turned the subject away from sex. We’re starting to wonder what Jay’s deal is about sex. He certainly seems to be turning down a lot of it! Cutie Carley was overheard telling him that the reason that she’s been off the radar is that she and Cy have been busy working her shipping business but that due to the bad weather they’ve been spending more time in RhyDin. If that’s the case, we hope spring NEVER comes!

Edited: January 24th, 2010

Inappropriate Thursday!

The question on everybody’s mind Thursday night in the Red Dragon Inn was what in the world has gotten into The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker??? He began his night behind the bar with some very un-Tucker like flirting with Lilli and then was quite rude to his friend Prof. Jolyon. His inappropriate behavior hardly ended there, though! He was seen whispering with Crazy Train Tara, giving Lil’ Bit Lirssa completely creepy looks considering her age, spent quite a bit of time trying to convince Eleanor to have sex with him, and even grabbed Serena (who was tending with him) to pull her in quite close. We hear that him putting his hands on Serena was the final straw for Manly Mason who went to intervene but was pulled away by Doc Eva. The whole thing is very, very odd.

Speaking of Serena, we hear that she was overheard telling Tucker that Prof. Jolyon asked her to marry him! Tucker’s reaction was to leave the Inn. The rumors that there is more than friendship between Serena and Tucker could have explained his odd behavior if it wasn’t for the fact that he had accomplished all his inappropriate behavior BEFORE she gave him the news. We’re at a loss. Anybody got any idea what’s wrong with T.W.H.T. Tucker??? Has he entered a new, creepy stage in mourning his loss of Doc Eva???

Lil’ Bit Lirssa and C.T. Tara had their own theories, of course. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed certain that Prof. Jolyon knew what was going on. Although, we have no idea why she thought there was a connection between the two men. C.T. Tara, on the other hand, was entirely convinced that T.W.H.T. Tucker was a pod person and that they needed to hire Awesome Alain to investigate the matter. We’re left confused as to whether we should believe the two of them or whether we should be horrified that C.T. Tara is allowed anywhere near L.B. Lirssa’s impressionable young mind. We suppose those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, though.

OMG. Spade gets around more than… well, more than C.T. Tara! She was overheard flirting with Harris who had to remind her that he has a wife. A very dangerous, foul-mouthed wife as those that remember her dueling days can attest. The pair had quite the lengthy discussion about sexual matters and a marriage between them should Harris ever get a divorce. Yep, completely an inappropriate conversation to have with a married man but Spade is far from the most well-mannered young woman that has ever walked into the Red Dragon Inn. That is one girl badly in need of a strict finishing school and a good spanking!

Wow. Danny and Kazzy are getting awfully tight, aren’t they? Sure, sure. We know what you’re going to say. They’re just spending time together because they miss Lizzie. The best friend and the boyfriend spend time together to help ease their sorrow, right??? Well, we’re not so sure we buy it. They NEVER seem to mention her anymore and with none of our sources having spotted Grem recently we think Kazzy’s ripe for the picking! We didn’t think Kazzy was the type to be able to stab her best friend in the back but…. now we’re not entirely sure anymore. You better believe we’re going to be keeping our eyes peeled on this one! You guessed it. Totally inappropriate!

A crowd gathered in the Arena to watch two challenges go down… or not go down as the case might have been. Overlord Tical was scheduled to face off against the Baron of Dockside, Vanion. Unfortunately for the crowd hoping to see a challenge, Vanion didn’t bother to show. It seemed pretty decided even that night as Lil’ Black Book Jaycy (Baroness of Seaside), Real Estate Mogul Rena (Baroness of Battlefield Park), the Wrecking Crew’s Maria (Baroness of Old Temple), and Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan (Baroness of Dragon’s Gate) all weighed in that they believed that the challenge should be voided and Vanion be stripped of his right to challenge for the remainder of the cycle. Considering that was a clear majority, it didn’t come as a shock when the Supervisor of Duel of Swords, G’naughty G’nort, announced the same just yesterday.

Something of note with the baronesses decision was that they specifically stated that Vanion would not be allowed to challenge at all for the remainder of the cycle, not just for Overlord. By doing so, they protected themselves from challenge against him for the rest of the cycle if The Warlord Who We Shall Not Name Because He Throws A Hissy Fit Every Time His Name Or His Girlfriend’s Name Is In Print is successful in defeating him in the challenge for Dockside…. which by the way will be fought tonight!

….And, yeah, that’s just the first challenge mess! There was another!

It seemed that in the middle of the first match between two former Overlords — Real Estate Mogul Rena and Anubis — for the right to be the baron(ess) of Battlefield Park, Anubis disappeared from the ring. We assume the cause is some sort of Nexus/Ward disturbance (as it has been rumored for years that there is some sort of relationship between the Nexus and the Ward) but Anubis has yet to issue an official statement on the matter. R.E.M. Rena was given the option of (a) rescheduling with Anubis, (b) facing his second, Xanth, or (c) sending the matter to the Council. Much to many people’s dismay, R.E.M. Rena decided to send it to the Council.

Thus, after being completely unused for quite some time, the Council received two matters to settle in one night.

Among those in the crowd was the storied duelist Kalamere who was seen chatting with G’naughty G’nort about the possibility of a comeback and even the idea of challenging for a barony once again. And then later in the night he was actually seen dueling! We sure hope it wasn’t a one time deal! It would be great to see him back in action again. While they were chatting, G’naughty G’nort mentioned that he might be done dueling for a while! He even tossed the word ‘retirement’ around. He said he wanted to continue running the place but may take a step back from dueling now that he’s reached the insane level of 200 wins over losses. We really do hope that’s not true. What a bummer that would be!

Edited: January 21st, 2010

Overheard Around Town!

- “Kids are the worst kinda STD’s one can get. You gotta feed em.. water em.. change the litter box.. #$%^&*  that.” And that, folks, is why Brale Brother Reap will never be voted RhyDin’s Most Eligible Bachelor.

- “There’s a lost and found box. We can borrow things from there. I’ve found top hats, and muffins, an’ socks.Or maybe a beret. I would like a french snowman. He would be holding a baguette also.” Is Rowdy Rekah not the cutest thing in the entire world???

- “Do you people have any idea how difficult it is to kidnap Santa’s elves an’ force them to do slave labor for you?!” Wow. Crazy Train Tara gets a little more frightening ever year. Don’t worry, kids, Uncle Lucky Lawyer Lucien, will keep big bad C.T. Tara from ruining Christmas.

- “Aymeric, I know yer a bit confused from all that inbreeding, but a whore is yer mother… ye know a woman of indiscriminate tastes that isn’t exactly sure who was her last bed partner.” Ouch! This is exactly the sort of burn that is making us totally fall for Fiora!

- “At least you’re supporting your local brewery. That’s practically being an environmentalist, right?” No, not really, Quinn.

- “I guess I can cross, ‘Get violated by a dragon’ off my Things To Do in Rhydin list, finally.” So claimed Harris after being sat on by Mega Mom Icer.

- “You use men’s testicles as a speedbag and the Alliance of Rhydin Diseases is considering changing the name of their most common check up package from “The Jaycy” to “The Teagan”. Why should I not me afraid of you?” Actually, Nova has a really good point. We’re pretty afraid of Teagan now too.

- “My name and the word alimony are synonymous.” Crazy Train Tara kills us!

- “Oh God. Do you know how much that nose cost me?!” Wow. Yep, Joey really did say that to Kelathe in the Outback after Kelathe kicked her in the face.

- “Eleanor Day is when everyone greets each other with right hooks.” So said Eleanor. Remind us to stay home on Eleanor Day! That sounds a bit dangerous!

Edited: January 11th, 2010