Adopt Me Saturday!

So things at the Red Dragon Inn were progressing in a pretty typical sort of pattern early Saturday night. Riley and Dean seemed to be having a pretty inappropriate conversation interaction considering that they’re both taken. Alain had some sort of terse stare down with Howe. Fia and Fio were seen catching up as evidently Fia’s been out of town for a while. Same old, same old, right?

Well, that’s the point where things started to go terribly wrong. Our sources are a little sketchy on the details since they were busy, you know, ducking for their lives! However, from what we can gather, a couple people totally started shooting up the Inn. And, big shock, Alain and Wolvie seemed to be returning fire. We hear that Lang jumped in when it looked like Alain wasn’t going to make it out alive. Even some cat version of Riley was involved. However, her involvement with Alain is sketchy at best. No idea why she’d jump in to try to help him but we’re definitely looking into it. Anyway, the bad guys were killed and the good guys made jokes while tending to their wounds. Just another night in RhyDin!

Panther is NOT going to be happy, though!

Fio and John had some sort of odd interaction late into the night. Our sources tell us it looks like Fio’s getting worse. She evidently was talking to someone that wasn’t there who had a message for John. Now she has imaginary friends??? This woman already claims to be someone’s mother and is pregnant with a baby! Ugh! John seemed pretty freaked out and not the least bit amused by the whole thing. We can’t blame him. Fio is making us so sad.

MAN-tastic Matt was spotted in the Arena trying to get out the dueling vote! We hear that he made a point to stop by the Minx girls and chat with them. Oh, I’m sure he did! What a sacrifice he had to make??? I can’t imagine having to surround myself with three beautiful women and lure them in with a charm! What an awful life Matt leads! There’s evidently a new Minx girl to add to the bunch, by the way. Gwen Minx. She’s evidently a cousin. Cute! Anyway, Cor was calling at the time and made sure to counter with his own campaign messages. Although, while Matt was trying to get them to vote for him, Cor was talking about having all three — Gwen, Tristanie, and Kattria — sleep with him. Classy. And we’ll be that his new girlfriend will thinks so too!

It seemed that the only action that Cor was getting though was from Granny who escaped from the Old Duelers’ Home. We hear that she really had a thing for him and was even seen in his lap. Well, I guess that taste doesn’t improve with age. Kattria got into a ring with Granny which is really just… wrong. Evidently, to make matters worse, she ended the match with a slash and killed Granny… or at least so it seemed. The orderlies from the Old Duelers’ Home carried her and her walker off. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

Lirssa and Taneth were seen hanging out with Lydia for quite a while Saturday night. In fact, the ladies were overheard making plans for baby Taneth to sleepover one night with Lydia and Soerl to spend some time with Soerl’s daughter. That’ll probably be really good for baby Taneth. We’re surprised she’s lasted so long without getting into some serious troubles. Although, we could say that about all the Taneths, including the original one! It seems we were right about Lydia not being pregnant. Instead, our sources claim that she was discussing adoption at length with Lirssa. How fantastic! This makes us love Lydia even more!

Kalamere might just be in luck! Although, one of his baronesses and regular bonk buddies, Teagan, does seem to be entering into something of a relationship with Joey, there did seem to be hints that he might not be cut off completely. In fact, we hear that both girls were flirting with him Saturday night. Serious score there! Kalamere is just blessed by life. It must be a hard life to be the hottest playboy in the Arena!

Edited: April 12th, 2010

P-IMP for Overlord Thursday!

Our sources spotted Wolvie and Aly in the Red Dragon Inn for the first time in FOREVER! Really, it’s been far too long since we were subject to her craziness. This has got to be the longest engagement ever… or did they elope and not tell anyone? Nah! Aly would never do that to us! Anyway, we hear that Lang made some rather choice sexual comments about Aly…. and while Wolvie got grumpy about them he didn’t do ANYTHING! Seriously??? What happened to the days when a guy would knock another guy on his rear for saying something about what sexual positions his girl enjoyed? We hear that they did combine forces to mock Lang out of the Inn. Fine, fine. But either get into a nasty argument with one another, sucker punch a guy for messing with your girl, or get married already!

Are we really supposed to believe that Allan and Bee have no interest in one another beyond friendship??? Really??? You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Not only have our sources continually spotted them together laughing and bordering on flirtatious since they met but he was seen introducing her to his friends Thursday night. We here that he introduced her to Mack who was quick to kid the couple about getting married. See, even clueless Mack sees it! Speaking of clueless Mack, we hear that she was seen later in the night getting close with Danny. It seems these two aren’t even hiding their attraction to one another anymore. You just can’t trust the men in this town to stay loyal! We hope that Lizzie comes back soon because she WILL go medieval on someone’s ass!

Imp was calling matches in the Arena and somehow managing to be even more obnoxious than usual. It seems that he was pinning pretty much everybody with “I HEART IMP FOR OVERLORD!” pins, including the Overlord’s loyal barons and Wrecking Crew teammates. Yet again, however, nobody took a swing at him despite his antics. One of these days Imp’s going to take a beat down. We’re just not entirely sure who it will be that will eventually snap.

Our sources overheard Sarah asking Kalinda if she wanted to “get [Sarah] warmed up”. We’re pretty sure that more than one jaw in the placed dropped clear to the floor. Then Kalinda was overheard saying that she would inform Imp of their intentions. Oh, we bet that’s some action that the P-Imp would want in on! Evidently the two girls were just talking about a duel, though. Total bummer.

Well, Kalamere has now slept with the easiest baroness of the bunch in Lil’ Black Book Jaycy and it seems he’s now moving to the next of the baroness triumvirate in Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan. The pair were seen chatting together for quite a while and the innuendos were fast and furious! Are we the only ones that feel like Kalamere is up to something but just can’t quite figure out what it is??? Is there a political motivation behind why he seems so set on seducing and bedding the baronesses??? Or is he just attracted to women who hold titles in the Arena??? With three very different personalities and three very different looks (a short redhead, a tall blonde, and an average brunette), it’s not like they all fit the same mold. Any ideas???

We were thrilled to see two off-the-wall nut jobs who we haven’t seen in some time in Crazy Train Tara and Sullen Sal! Sullen Sal seemed set on one thing and one thing only for the night — busting heads. Tara, on the other hand, was pretty well occupied with a slave boy who was missing a tongue. Evidently the slave was a gift from Dawn. Yep, you read that right. Dawn. What wife would give her husband’s mistress a present??? If we were Tara we’d be a little nervous that this slave might kill us in our sleep! Tara’s behavior got increasingly odd through out the night as she has the tendency of doing. Sal was seen laying one heck of a kiss on her and at one point Lucky Lawyer Lucien even had to talk her out of killing another patron. Just another day in the life of L.L. Lucien!

Edited: March 28th, 2010

Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!

Edited: February 8th, 2010

Off With The Hair Thursday!

A busy Thursday night around town, particularly in the Red Dragon Inn, made up for a slow week of gossip! The night started off on an odd note as Lang seemed to have somehow trapped Den Mama Icer in a playpen with one of her hatchlings. Honestly, we have no idea which one. Her entire brood is just one giant blur to us. Anyway, D.M. Icer was NOT pleased but, as usual, the super self-involved Lang cared little for anything but his own amusement. We hear that he left her in there for several hours before returning her to her normal size and letting her out of the playpen. Niiiice. With all the family she’s got, it’s best not to mess with her. This isn’t going to end will for Lang.

The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker was still acting incredibly…. well, off! One of the Taneths went to give T.W.H.T. Tucker a nice long hug only to be GROPED! No lie! We hear that when she asked him if he missed her, he pulled her in closer and said “Can’t you tell?” UGH! Say it ain’t so! That’s disgusting. When did our strong, silent T.W.H.T. Tucker become a creepy old man??? Thankfully, Our Darling Taneth was able to wiggle her way free before he was able to make her more uncomfortable. That’s ridiculous!

Things didn’t get any better from there. T.W.H.T. Tucker had ANOTHER argument with Serena (isn’t that like three weeks in a row that their shift has ended in a fight?) and then PUNCHED Brale Brother Reap. We hear that he punched Reap so hard that he knocked him off his stool and that B.B. Reap actually spit out a TOOTH! Mad Cow Kazzy, Our Eve, and Lilli were on hand to make sure he was okay and collect his tooth and T.W.H.T. Tucker decided it was best to storm out. We would say that we bet B.B. Reap was PISSED but we bet he was actually sort of grateful. Can you imagine any other way that B.B. Reap would find to get three hot women tending to him???

OMG! WE TOLD YOU! We hear that Aja was seen with her ex, Padriq, Thursday night! Who is Padriq??? The HOTTEST Kidd brother…. Okay, okay. The ONLY HAWT Kidd brother! The pair had a loooong intimate chat. We hear that they both looked really into one another. THEN HE KISSED HER! No lie! Did we call it or did we call it??? This is a reunion we’ve seen in the works for MONTHS! However, we sure hope that they take it nice and slow. They rushed head first into it last time and we hope Padriq saw his mistake. Rushing too far too quickly can only scare your partner off! Take your time! Enjoy it! And congratulations to the pair of you for re-discovering love!

Then the night took a really crazy turn….

Sullen Sal stormed in from the Arena all pissed off and Crazy Train Tara had to clean the blood off his face and calm him down. C.T. Tara acting motherly is just a bit too freaky for us. Just as the situation seemed to be settling, Anubis decided to show up! Yep! It goes from a bad night to an absolutely insane night from here. Anubis demanded Bekah dance for him as he cuddled C.T. Tara which led to Lucky Lawyer Lucien IMMEDIATELY throwing a punch at Anubis. He didn’t even give Bekah a chance to refuse. He just lashed out at Anubis! The two just totally start absolutely BRAWLING in the middle of the Inn. Brale Brother Reap who never seems to miss a good bar fight jumped into the fray as well and for a while it seemed like they’d really lay a beating on Anubis.

Unfortunately for Reap, Dave decided to SHOT HIM IN HIS LEG and as Brale Brother Reap was dealing with the initial shock of being shot in the middle of the Inn, Dave pistol whipped him. B.B. Reap went down in a heap. Heh. That rhymes. Even Charna got a blow on Anubis! We hear that she packs a pretty mean punch with a shovel! C.T. Tara used the confusion as an opportunity to grab Bekah by the hair and threaten to kill her… which then brought Sal into the fight. As he and C.T. Tara beat on each other, Bekah CUT OFF HER OWN HAIR to get away from C.T. Tara.

Eventually, Anubis and C.T. Tara left the scene of the crime, leaving a lot of destruction and mayhem in their wake. This whole event is so crazy that we don’t even have to add our own commentary to it to make it sensational! WOW!

Edited: February 3rd, 2010

Expecting Monday!

What do you know? Monday night found Dean and Susan drinking together at the Red Dragon Inn… again. These two are AWFULLY close for being “just friends”. Don’t you agree??? We hear that Lang threatened to try to steal Dean’s girl away from him. At this point we’re at a loss as to whether he means Quinn or Susan. Either way, the comment made Dean a little pissy. Although, we’re not entirely sure that “pissy” is a mood for him or just a general state of being. We do know for a fact that BOTH of those girls can do better. Lots better.

No way! We cannot believe it but evidently it’s true! The Many Faces of Fio was overheard telling Kendall that she and Ali are expecting a baby in August. You’ve GOT to be kidding us. Really, we cannot even IMAGINE what got into Ali’s head. It has to be unplanned, right??? With everything he has to worry about does he really need a kid as well??? Can you imagine Sullen Sal and Deliciously Sinful Sin as uncles??? We really hope that this doesn’t turn into a train wreck because we really want the best for both of them!

Well, the theme of the night wasn’t inappropriate conversations as it was several nights before but when does that ever stop Joey and Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan??? The pair are evidently involved in some sort of relationship but were not exactly sure what that means. We’re pretty darn sure that it doesn’t mean that they’re monogamous. Anyway, Joey was overheard Monday night in the Outback asking S.P.G. Teagan whether or not S.P.G. Teagan thought Joey’s boobs were big enough or if she should get bigger ones. Wow. What else can you say to that really??? We know you are all dying to know what S.P.G. Teagan’s response was. She evidently said that she likes Joey’s boobs just the way they are. That’s probably what passes as a sweet comment between the two of them.

Edited: January 26th, 2010