Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!

Edited: February 8th, 2010

Off With The Hair Thursday!

A busy Thursday night around town, particularly in the Red Dragon Inn, made up for a slow week of gossip! The night started off on an odd note as Lang seemed to have somehow trapped Den Mama Icer in a playpen with one of her hatchlings. Honestly, we have no idea which one. Her entire brood is just one giant blur to us. Anyway, D.M. Icer was NOT pleased but, as usual, the super self-involved Lang cared little for anything but his own amusement. We hear that he left her in there for several hours before returning her to her normal size and letting her out of the playpen. Niiiice. With all the family she’s got, it’s best not to mess with her. This isn’t going to end will for Lang.

The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker was still acting incredibly…. well, off! One of the Taneths went to give T.W.H.T. Tucker a nice long hug only to be GROPED! No lie! We hear that when she asked him if he missed her, he pulled her in closer and said “Can’t you tell?” UGH! Say it ain’t so! That’s disgusting. When did our strong, silent T.W.H.T. Tucker become a creepy old man??? Thankfully, Our Darling Taneth was able to wiggle her way free before he was able to make her more uncomfortable. That’s ridiculous!

Things didn’t get any better from there. T.W.H.T. Tucker had ANOTHER argument with Serena (isn’t that like three weeks in a row that their shift has ended in a fight?) and then PUNCHED Brale Brother Reap. We hear that he punched Reap so hard that he knocked him off his stool and that B.B. Reap actually spit out a TOOTH! Mad Cow Kazzy, Our Eve, and Lilli were on hand to make sure he was okay and collect his tooth and T.W.H.T. Tucker decided it was best to storm out. We would say that we bet B.B. Reap was PISSED but we bet he was actually sort of grateful. Can you imagine any other way that B.B. Reap would find to get three hot women tending to him???

OMG! WE TOLD YOU! We hear that Aja was seen with her ex, Padriq, Thursday night! Who is Padriq??? The HOTTEST Kidd brother…. Okay, okay. The ONLY HAWT Kidd brother! The pair had a loooong intimate chat. We hear that they both looked really into one another. THEN HE KISSED HER! No lie! Did we call it or did we call it??? This is a reunion we’ve seen in the works for MONTHS! However, we sure hope that they take it nice and slow. They rushed head first into it last time and we hope Padriq saw his mistake. Rushing too far too quickly can only scare your partner off! Take your time! Enjoy it! And congratulations to the pair of you for re-discovering love!

Then the night took a really crazy turn….

Sullen Sal stormed in from the Arena all pissed off and Crazy Train Tara had to clean the blood off his face and calm him down. C.T. Tara acting motherly is just a bit too freaky for us. Just as the situation seemed to be settling, Anubis decided to show up! Yep! It goes from a bad night to an absolutely insane night from here. Anubis demanded Bekah dance for him as he cuddled C.T. Tara which led to Lucky Lawyer Lucien IMMEDIATELY throwing a punch at Anubis. He didn’t even give Bekah a chance to refuse. He just lashed out at Anubis! The two just totally start absolutely BRAWLING in the middle of the Inn. Brale Brother Reap who never seems to miss a good bar fight jumped into the fray as well and for a while it seemed like they’d really lay a beating on Anubis.

Unfortunately for Reap, Dave decided to SHOT HIM IN HIS LEG and as Brale Brother Reap was dealing with the initial shock of being shot in the middle of the Inn, Dave pistol whipped him. B.B. Reap went down in a heap. Heh. That rhymes. Even Charna got a blow on Anubis! We hear that she packs a pretty mean punch with a shovel! C.T. Tara used the confusion as an opportunity to grab Bekah by the hair and threaten to kill her… which then brought Sal into the fight. As he and C.T. Tara beat on each other, Bekah CUT OFF HER OWN HAIR to get away from C.T. Tara.

Eventually, Anubis and C.T. Tara left the scene of the crime, leaving a lot of destruction and mayhem in their wake. This whole event is so crazy that we don’t even have to add our own commentary to it to make it sensational! WOW!

Edited: February 3rd, 2010

Expecting Monday!

What do you know? Monday night found Dean and Susan drinking together at the Red Dragon Inn… again. These two are AWFULLY close for being “just friends”. Don’t you agree??? We hear that Lang threatened to try to steal Dean’s girl away from him. At this point we’re at a loss as to whether he means Quinn or Susan. Either way, the comment made Dean a little pissy. Although, we’re not entirely sure that “pissy” is a mood for him or just a general state of being. We do know for a fact that BOTH of those girls can do better. Lots better.

No way! We cannot believe it but evidently it’s true! The Many Faces of Fio was overheard telling Kendall that she and Ali are expecting a baby in August. You’ve GOT to be kidding us. Really, we cannot even IMAGINE what got into Ali’s head. It has to be unplanned, right??? With everything he has to worry about does he really need a kid as well??? Can you imagine Sullen Sal and Deliciously Sinful Sin as uncles??? We really hope that this doesn’t turn into a train wreck because we really want the best for both of them!

Well, the theme of the night wasn’t inappropriate conversations as it was several nights before but when does that ever stop Joey and Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan??? The pair are evidently involved in some sort of relationship but were not exactly sure what that means. We’re pretty darn sure that it doesn’t mean that they’re monogamous. Anyway, Joey was overheard Monday night in the Outback asking S.P.G. Teagan whether or not S.P.G. Teagan thought Joey’s boobs were big enough or if she should get bigger ones. Wow. What else can you say to that really??? We know you are all dying to know what S.P.G. Teagan’s response was. She evidently said that she likes Joey’s boobs just the way they are. That’s probably what passes as a sweet comment between the two of them.

Edited: January 26th, 2010

Pour A 40 For My Homie Sunday!

What in the world has the Red Dragon Inn come to??? We hear that Brale Brother Reap was seen trying to calm Dean down after he got into it with Lang. We’re not entirely sure what the argument was about. We do hear that it had something to do with marriage and Dean’s live-in girl, Quinn, seemed quite upset. We sure hope that they’re not already talking marriage. The relationships in this city are utterly ridiculous! What’s more ridiculous is that B.B. Reap would be playing the sage advice-giver. What sort of alternate universe is this? Our sources tell us that through the whole thing Eleanor was sitting at the bar, speaking to Dean’s girl, Quinn. Could this change in B.B. Reap be due to Eleanor???

Leave it to Keaton to spot a hot little brunette before us! We have to admit that we too are falling for the saucy little Fiora! She’s got quite the little mouth on her. Like Keaton, we’re not incredibly sure what her relationship with the rather spoiled Aymeric is but she does seem to play the role of excuse-maker for him quite nicely. We hear that when Aymeric offended Ilyona, Fiora even tried to step in to smooth over the offense… at least for a moment or two and in her own special way. Seriously? We think we’re in love. She’s totally our sort of trouble maker and we can’t wait to see what she does next!

Our sources report that Potter Piper arrived quite broken up after learning of the deaths of Jewell and her children. It’s so sad and so tragic. She was consoled by Chief Mischief Maker Eless and the pair drank to Jewell’s memory. On a side note, interestingly enough, they ran into Rico in the Inn and Eless was overheard telling him not to listen to his rumor-mongering friend. One guess as to who she could have possibly been referring to with that statement! We’re glad that people are seeing through the act!

We never saw this one coming! Evidently Lilli spent some time at the hearth having a drink with none other than Zev! Our sources are telling us that this is hardly the first time that they’ve been seen in each other’s company and that when together Zev certainly seems to pay attention to his companion. They actually even talked about going out laaaate into that very night to get tattoos. That’s some kind of date! Certainly not what we’d expect from either one of them… but then again we’re STILL having a hard time imagining the pair together at all! We’ll keep our eyes out for it!

It seems that G’naughty G’nort’s wife has not disappeared as everyone assumed! She was spotted Sunday night getting some duels in with him at Fight Night in the Annex. Rumor has it that she’s been spending a good deal of her time remodeling their home. We have to wonder if she’s making room for some kids! Isn’t it about time that these two got hopping on creating little G’norts and Kajas??? Maybe G’nort just wants her for nefarious deeds! We hear that Lil’ Black Book Jaycy was doing some hardcore hitting on Kaja and Kaja certainly didn’t seem uncomfortable about the advances. There was even talking of, you know, inviting L.B.B. Jaycy over for the night. Classy!

Due to some practically ancient history, the Wrecking Crew’s Maria who was hanging out with fellow Wrecking Crew member, Kheldar, didn’t look all too pleased to see Kaja. The two women seemed to be doing everything in their power NOT to notice one another. BORING! We haven’t seen a knock-down, drag-out girl fight in a loooooong time!

Mad Cow Kazzy graced the Annex with her presence Sunday night! She was seen giving her best friend’s guy, Danny, an awfully difficult time when he asked for one of the cookies she had. In fact, she made him get down on his knees and beg. Yet, when Jay came over, she readily gave one up to the handsome dueler! Interesting, no??? Think Grem should be a bit worried??? She and Jay did chat for quite a while after the cookie-giving. We have to admit that we’re a bit intrigued!

Edited: December 30th, 2009

Popping Out Saturday!

Wow. That Dean is a little hot head. And his girl, Quinn, doesn’t seem to have the guts to stand up to him. He first flipped out and snatched a rose out of her hand when Lang handed them out to her AND Spade. THEN he got all offended when Lang said that he shouldn’t compare his girl to his mother (which is pretty good advice in our opinion) because his mom is dead. And how was Lang supposed to know that? And how did Lang say anything negative about his mother? Ridiculous! We really hope this girl wises up and stops being such a door mat! Stand up to him, chickie!

As the living example of the PERFECT husband/boyfriend/significant other, it just so happened that Yummy Ewan was in the room with his drop dead gorgeous wife, the Divine Mrs. Storm. It’s nice to see that the pair are still going strong and still making time to go out on date nights despite now having a family. We are starting to wonder when this family will grow, though! Do you think he’ll knock her up again soon? We sure hope so! These two have to have lots of well-mannered kids to make up for all the morons on this city that keep popping out young!

Speaking of going strong, it seems that the unlikely couple of Professor Jolyon and Serena haven’t split up yet. We certainly wouldn’t count these two as married and off the market yet. And we’re not the only ones to think that one of the two of them are going to finally realize how odd of a pairing this is! They were seen chatting briefly with Chief Mischief Maker Eless about plans for the holidays. It seems that Prof. Jolyon is taking Serena back home with him to spend them with his family. We do have to admit that’s an awfully serious step. C.M.M. Eless on the other hand was staying in town and hoping to spend some time with Connar! We hear that she and Connar were actually seen quite enthralled with one another by the hearth laaaate into the night. They’re adorable! It’s like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together. So cute!

Edited: December 30th, 2009