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M.F. -

No more Anya requires a party!

..in my hot tub. Yeeaaaah. I’ll bring the whip cream, you bring the chocolate.

Although, I gotta say — I do adore Deathlord. Any guy who sends his undead minions caroling for the pleasure of his citizens — especially in New Haven, of all friggin’ places — is my kinda guy. Even if he does drink goblets of newts.

-S

Dear Sin,

Goblets of newts? Barf.

As for your hot tub, I’m so there.

- Marc

_______________

Franco,

Excuse me for saying so, but your column is a piece of crap. There is a word. It’s called slander. Get your facts straight before printing them or I’ll hunt you down and shove my foot right where the sun don’t shine.

Sincerely,

That Dean Guy

Dear Dean,

There’s a really easy solution for those of you that hate our column. Don’t read it.

As for your foot? Better men than you have tried, sir.

- Marc

_______________

Heyas, Marc.

I thought I’d give you a little insight into my feelings for Psly, since I know you’re wondering why we’re together.

How do I love Pslyder, let me count the ways.

How do I love Psly? Let me count the ways.
I love him with all that I am and ever will be.
I love him with stars in my eyes, for he is heaven to me.
I love him gently for his sweet caress.
I love him passionately for the fire he brings to light.
I love him softly as he holds and protects me through the night.
I love him unconditionally for that is how he loves me.
I love him longingly when it is him I ache to see.
I love him utterly with no secrets I keep.
I love him hard and long and deep.
I love him humbly, for he holds my heart and soul.
I love him joyously, for he makes me whole.
I love him hungrily, for beneath his touch my body is like a slave.
I love him forever, always, even beyond the grave.

Jaycy

Dear Jaycy,

Mr. Franco is so upset that he can’t write this letter himself. He begs you to tell him that this is all a joke and that you haven’t gotten (in his words) “soft” or “sappy”.

- Intern Hot to Trot

Edited: January 24th, 2010

While He Was Down Sunday!

Oh, Lord! What would we do without Brale Brother Reap to entertain us??? He certainly seems to be attracting quite a little following as of late. We have no idea what the name of the girl who was hitting on him Sunday night was but this one certainly seemed to be feeling B.B. Reap! We hear that at one point they were talking about bull riding and she said that she could last longer on a bull than he could. B.B. Reap’s response? “You think so? Pretty good at wrapping your legs around things without getting bucked off, eh?” OMG! We. Die. We hear that Nigel joined in on the mocking too. But as is usual with the easy chicks of this town even after the girl realized they were making fun of her, she was still into B.B. Reap.

Seriously, women of RhyDin? Seriously?

On a more serious note, our sources report back to us that Awful Ali collapsed in the Inn right in front of poor Lil’ Bit Lirssa! As if that poor girl’s life needed to get more traumatic! A group of people including Nigel, Mac, and some guy named Logan quickly rushed to Ali’s side. The Logan guy actually KICKED ALI IN THE CHEST WHILE HE WAS DOWN! No lie! Now there’s quite a few people in this city who’d like to give Awful Ali a good beating but… kicking him while he’s down??? That’s just WRONG! After only a couple moments, he started coming around much to Lil’ Bit Lirssa’s relief. We hear that The Many Faces of Fio showed up not too long after and Mac told her that Ali’s heart had stopped beating for a while. Crazy. We sure hope he’s okay!

We had heard of the rumors of Zev and Lilli but our sources had yet to catch them together. They didn’t seem to be hiding their relationship at all Sunday night as they sat hand-in-hand by the hearth quite cozy together. We hear that the notoriously private and quiet man was even overheard calling her “my dear” and had his hand alllll over her. Our bet is that the pair is already sleeping together. We’re not so sure about this. We thought that for sure Lilli had her eyes on a certain tender. We’re not tagging Zev and Lilli with a “happily ever after” stamp yet but there’s no denying that there’s a whole lot of chemistry going on there!

Down in the Annex a crowd gathered for Fight Night! Scotty was seen working up the courage to hop into a ring for the first time with his friend, Lil’ Black Book Jaycy, who was showing him the ropes. Scotty was overheard saying that his man, Harold, wasn’t too terribly thrilled about him dueling. Swords is safe enough thank to the ward (unless you’re the sort that the ward doesn’t work on) but Fists…. wow. Another story entirely. Harold did wander in as well to watch his hubby-to-be in a ring. He was seen on the sidelines with a cup of tea in hand, looking uncomfortable with seeing Scotty in a ring at first but gradually he seemed to grow more and more interested in what was going on. We think that Scotty might be hooked!

Evidently we were accused by Anya of spreading some rumor about Merchant Antonio that Crazy Train Tara had overheard. Even Collie defended us by saying it was not the sort of thing that we would say. Considering all the gossip we gather/spread is published, we’re unsure how we can be accused of spreading secret rumors but… whatever. We’re so done hearing of how Anya is using our blog to turn herself into some sort of victim that she won’t be in our blog anymore. Sometimes what is right is more important than increasing readership and, thus, revenue. In this situation, what is right is not feeding that ego.

FLAWLESS Koy and Maria had another face off and we’re STILL not entirely sure what it was about. All we know is that it was about some argument with her husband, MAN-tastic Matt, over a video. The tension was still high but not nearly as high as when the two had almost come to blows several nights before in the Outback. Two Crew members and friends of both women — Overlord Tical and Kheldar — stepped in to ease the tension. Again, it seemed to, unfortunately, do the trick because the tension eased and the women returned to watching the challenge at hand.

Oh, right! There was a challenge! The little fierce muffin, Aya, challenged that Death Lord guy for the right to the barony of New Haven! Unfortunately, Aya who is a very experienced warlord and former baron just didn’t have the goods on that particular night to take down the less experienced baron. We still think it’s ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS that ritzy New Haven is represented in the Arena by the walking undead. We’re just shocked that there hasn’t been a bigger movement among the people that live there to get him thrown out on his ear. Come on, people of New Haven! Do we have to spell it out for you? Put together a monetary prize for the warlord that can bring down the baron! Make it worth their while!

Congratulations, Death Lord…. we guess.

Edited: January 19th, 2010

Love Him Sunday!

Lilli was seen with the handsome White Knight Julian chatting at the Red Dragon Inn Sunday night! It’s nice to see him back around and we’re pleased to see Lilli attended to by such a handsome man! We would never peg him as the type to be interested in a free spirit like Lilli but you never can tell what a man will be into! We hear that their conversation was briefly interrupted as Darcy came over to give Lilli a hug since she hadn’t seen her since…. well, everybody seems to be politely dancing around the truth so we suppose we should as well. We do have to admit that as much as we complain about her, we’re glad she’s back and looking happy.

Aymeric and Fiora are such hilarious little troublemakers! Fiora practically begged a sandwich off of Joey with Aymeric in the background telling Joey not to “feed the addiction” as it seems that the girl has a thing for sandwiches. We were pretty surprised to hear that despite all their back and forth bickering, Fiora actually admitted that she has seen Aymeric naked and that it is “good”. Wow. As for Joey, she was pretty amused by the pair but was hobbling around in some pain. She assured anyone who asked that she had just slipped on some ice and hit her hip. It’s a dangerous time of year! Stay safe, boo!

Remember that girl we were talking about that was such a hard ass? Vanessa? Yeah, strike that! These girls always look good and tough until you see them swooning over some completely random guy. We’re disappointed that it wasn’t even a full week later and already she’s looking all googly-eyed at some guy probably not worth her time. We’re tired of the women in this city settling for less than they deserve! We should totally start a match-making venture.

Harper has been seen with that John guy an awful lot. Our sources say that they were seen playing a board game Sunday night and she made a vague mention about making him dinner. Super cute! Good luck to him with that! We bet she’s pretty feisty! All the good ones are! John was overheard telling Mega Mom Icer that her kids are awfully loud and suggesting she buys them a muzzle next Christmas. LOVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW!!! We hear that Mega Mom Icer actually agreed with him but with as many kids as she’s got we’re willing to be there’s more than one of them she’d like to muzzle at any given time.

A crowd gathered in the Arena Sunday night to see if the Warlord Guill could take down his former friend, Baroness of Dragon’s Gate, Teagan. It seems he had some lingering issues with her over the incident surrounding the challenge in which she lost her Overlord title. As the second baroness he called dishonorable in less than a month, this challenge seemed even less popular than his last. Even his friends seemed to be rooting against him!

Even Sullen Sal who seemed to agree with Guill that Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan and Lil’ Black Book Jaycy’s actions at that particular challenge were… well, morally questionable would be one way to put it… thought that Guill had acted like in idiot. We hear that Sullen Sal was overheard telling Collie that Guill talks too much. Well, that’s not exactly what he said. Add in a half dozen curse words of your choice and you’ll have a more accurate quote.

Evidently Santa got Deliciously Sinful Sin a pony for Christmas. Le sigh. At least he wasn’t given a gun like Crazy Train Tara was! We suppose we should give thanks for small miracles. Anyway, D.S. Sin who was calling took a quiet moment during a lull in the action to name his pony. For all those out there who are just dying to know what D.S. Sin would name a pony, the answer is Chunzy. And why would D.S. Sin name his pony Chunzy? Because Psycho Skid told him to, of course!

Unfortunately for Guill, he didn’t even get a chance to face Teagan in a ring. The Overlord Tical decided to step in on behalf of his loyal baroness and defeated Guill, destroying his chance to go on and face Teagan for the Dragon’s Gate barony. We hear that while Teagan was grateful to the Overlord for intervening, she was disappointed not to have the opportunity to beat on Guill herself. Guill, on the other hand, was quite the beaten man. We hear he’s said that he’s not going to be challenging for some time and that he  was seen in a long discussion with Aja, Anya, and Neo. It seems he’s determined to work pretty hard to get back in good graces with his friends.

Congratulations, Teagan!

Edited: January 5th, 2010

So Sad Friday!

Friday was another quiet night around town but our sources were at work and did spot some of your favorites out and about!

Our Darling Taneth was seen chatting with Chief Mischief Maker Eless and Shylah about her… well, multiple selves. From what our sources could gather, she’s split into many, many different Taneths and must find “the One” in order to be able to reunite all of them. We believe that this is also the explanation for Tormay’s absence since he won his barony. Taneth was overheard saying that her dog, Chester, is with him and we can only assume they are trying to locate “the One”. We sure hope that he is successful! We feel so badly for him. Despite all of her friends misgivings about their relationship, everyone must now admit that their marriage is utterly adorable and he loves her dearly. So sad!

Harsh words were exchanged in the Arena as Maria butted heads with Aja and Anya over what she took as a disrespectful remark towards Anubis. Evidently her loyalty to the former Overlord didn’t end when she lost her barony nor when he was ousted from the title by her friend! The argument eventually brought in Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan into it as well. Despite a rocky relationship, S.P.G. Teagan seemed to take Maria’s side and while Maria seemed able to put her differences with the two women aside, S.P.G. Teagan was not the least bit interested in making peace.

Edited: January 1st, 2010

Stuck in a Stocking Wednesday!

Rumor has it that Brale Brother Reap and Harris were hanging out together at the bar in the Red Dragon Inn Wednesday night. There’s a brain trust that we’re sad we missed out on! And, yeah, that was sarcasm. We hear Eleanor was present and accounted for. She probably dropped a couple IQ points for being so close to the black hole of logic thought that is Reap and Harris! It seems that she was quite surprised to hear that Harris has a wife. Anybody else of the opinion that Eleanor would LOVE Stick?

We’re not buying Lucky Lawyer Lucien’s “sympathy” for Nigel over Crazy Train Tara’s sudden…. well, lust for him! In fact, we think that L.L. Lucien is quite pleased that C.T. Tara has someone to distract her from contemplating ways to make L.L. Lucien’s girlfriend disappear. Evidently C.T. Tara healed Nigel and then tried to convince him to go into a booth with her and close the curtain. It seems that Nigel resisted C.T. Tara’s advances and she was none to pleased. Wow. He’s sure got some big ones. What’s the over-under on how many more days she allows him to life? Maybe that’s why so many men fall into bed with her! They’re completely petrified of her!

L.L. Lucien’s night certainly wasn’t Crazy Train Tara-free! Evidently she somehow got herself stuck in a stocking and L.L. Lucien along with several other people were stuck trying to get her free. Honestly, why in the world would they do that??? Wouldn’t RhyDin be a much safer place if C.T. Tara was stuck in a “stocking prison” as L.L. Lucien called it. When they did get her out of the stocking they found that she was only clothed in Christmas lights strung around her otherwise naked body… much to the amusement of the crowd watching which included Manly Mason, Doc Eva, and Chief Mischief Maker Eless. Unfortunately, Lil’ Bit Lirssa was also present. We do hope that she sees C.T. Tara as a perfect example of how not to behave in public.

It was a fantastic DOUBLE challenge in the Arena Wednesday night called by Deliciously Sinful Sin with the Overlord Anubis defending his title against the winner of the Warlord Tournament, Tical, and Warlord Guill facing off against Baroness of Seaside, Jaycy. Neither fight was all that friendly. Anubis and Tical have met in rings in both the Arena and the Outback for the right to hold numerous titles while Guill made some choice comments about Jaycy’s honor which upset more than just Jaycy. Needless to say, the challenge attracted QUITE the crowd who couldn’t wait to see how either would go down!

Guill’s comments didn’t win him a lot of supporters through his single match format challenge against Jaycy. When Jaycy took the win by a mere point after fourteen heavily contested rounds, she got a hefty round of congratulations from the likes of Pslyder, Kelathe, Misty, G’nort, and Cas among others. Even Guill’s friends — some like Aja who had spoken their disagreement for his statements in public — were a little light on cheering for him and Neo was actually seen cheering for Jaycy. Guill, however, was not the least bit remorseful and held true to his beliefs! Well, you’ve got to admit that he’s at least consistent!

Speaking of Neo and his girl, Kelathe, they spent most of the night entwined with one another. It’s nice to see that he’s got someone but we’re still not entirely convinced that this girl isn’t a huuuuuge mess. He needs a WOMAN, not a girl he has to take care of. We’d like to see this work out for him because he’s a good guy with some really bad luck with women! That being said, we’re watching you, Kel! And we doubt we’re the only ones! Can you imagine what Sivanna would do to Kel if she hurt Sivanna’s best friend??? They’d be scraping Kel off the ceiling of the Arena for YEARS!

Guill was evidently looking quite poorly after his match. We hear that he was stumbling and showing all the signs of exhaustion. His friends, including Ms. Wyh Not, Aja, and Anya, urged him to go home and rest but he stubbornly refused. Not cool! He has a pregnant wife he should be considering!

As for the Overlord’s match, it was unimaginably tight! The lead changes were numerous! Both opponents’ were bloody and battered! The Overlord took the first match but his challenger took the next two. Soooo… the reign of Anubis is now over… at least for now… as Tical takes over the mantle. You can only imagine how many supporters Tical had for the night and how many people were tripping over themselves to congratulate him for taking down the slaver!

Congratulations to Tical and Jaycy!

Edited: December 31st, 2009