Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!

Edited: February 8th, 2010

CrushBob Tuesday!

That Aaron sure is one clASSy guy! It’s no wonder he’s such good friend with Dean. Tuesday night found the pair of them in the Red Dragon Inn doing what it is that they seem to do — get drunk and hit on loose women. Dean was once again seen with Susan while Aaron had put his sights on a blonde that we hear goes by the name Aila. It seems that Aaron was actually trying to get her drunk before making his move on her. We’re pretty sure he didn’t have to go to so much trouble. This girl was really into his vibe. Where did these two guys come from and why are these girls putty in their hands??? Seriously, have a bit of respect, ladies! Can’t you all see through their bull???

We hear that the Outback was really hopping Tuesday night as some of dueling’s finest came out to get some duels for the Tour in! Napoleon was wearing the yellow jersey to signify his position in the Tour currently when he showed up to bash some heads in under the CrushBob banner. Yeah, we have no idea what that team name means and our sources actually heard teammates Smokin’ Sartan and Speedster Nova expressing confusion over it as well. It’s just further proof that the Gov MAN-tastic Matt has taken one too many blows to the head over the years.

Odd. One of the Taneths told Crazy Train Tara that she didn’t like her. So totally not like Taneth! Tormay is STILL not back so we can only assume that he’s still trying to find the answers to Taneth’s problem. We do miss Our Darling Taneth so! C.T. Tara was not at all offended by Taneth’s remark. In fact, we hear that she responded that most people don’t like her. On the subject of C.T. Tara, we hear that she was utterly petrified of Kheldar for some reason. Odd, isn’t it? Of course, Kheldar is a pretty big guy but when is C.T. Tara afraid of anybody? Particularly the person who is seen as one of the kindest, gentlest duelists out there? That girl is completely bonkers!

Edited: January 26th, 2010

Papa Ali Monday!

Nigel was heard Monday night in the Red Dragon Inn shooting off about what he’s going to do to the slaver and former Overlord, Anubis. We don’t have any concrete evidence as to why Nigel has issues with Anubis but we are hearing unsubstantiated reports that it could be about Charna. Eleanor told Nigel to watch himself when taking on Anubis as he’s not easily taken down and she didn’t feel that the gun Nigel was flashing was going to do the trick. We tend to agree. Anubis has been a thorn in this city’s side for a lot of years. We seriously doubt that Nigel is going to do the trick all on his lonesome. We wonder how Crazy Train Tara is going to feel when she hears that her good friend Nigel is trying to kill the love of her life???

Really. That Dean guy is more than a little ridiculous. He made quite a show of himself playing air guitar in the middle of the Inn. There were actually women who were eating that crap up too! His girlfriend Quinn continues to hang onto his every word… which we still find utterly insane. Now she’s a bit on the grungy side but there’s a bit of pretty in there somewhere. She could do better. Spade was also digging the performance which isn’t all that shocking. Spade always is into guys that are already taken. Her goal in life seems to be to see how many taken men she can bag. All the more gossip for us!

Could we finally be seeing a crack in the foundation? We admit that Serena and Prof. Jolyon have lasted far longer than we had expected but there definitely seems to be some unrest in that relationship. Serena has been seen looking quite sickly the last month or so which has raised concern with quite a few of her friends including Prof. Jolyon. In fact, we hear that he was trying to convince her to return to his homeland where it seems he thinks her health will be better. She didn’t seem to be having any of it. Iiiiinteresting!

…What?!?!? Our sources CLAIM that they heard a Very Very Very Interesting conversation Monday night between Awful Ali and Lil’ Bit Lirssa in the Outback! It seems it was quite the father-daughter chat and L.B. Lirssa has been overheard calling Awful Ali “papa” several times recently! Considering all the women that Awful Ali is responsible for, this actually really isn’t all that much of a shock to us. In fact, despite his personality flaws, he has proven himself to be quite the fatherly figure. We think he’d make a good dad…. and maybe children of his own might not be too far behind. We hear that L.B. Lirssa made a comment about what Awful Ali’s baby would call him. Could The Many Faces of Fio be pregnant??? We. Must. Know.

Casey Shivblade evidently made an appearance in a dueling venue for the first time in F.O.R.E.V.E.R. and a day! She seemed just the same as always. She spent some time catching up with her old friends, MAN-tastic Matt and FLAWLESS Koy. It seems that she is still married to the famous dueler with the same last name. Later into the night Smokin’ Sartan asked her if there was a chance her hubby might come back out of retirement. We were hoping that perhaps her come back might inspire him to return from retirement as well but Casey didn’t seem to think that was a possibility. Bummer! Well, it’s good to see the cute little ball of cheer back at least!

Edited: January 19th, 2010

Day After The Incident Wednesday

Well, well, well. Maybe we were wrong about a reunion between Playboy Shane and Darcy! It seems she’s already got a man in mind! She was seen Wednesday night in the Red Dragon Inn asking a mystery man to accompany her to the mockery of a wedding this weekend. We hear that she even called him “love”! That girl certainly knows how to move quickly! He teased her about being her date but certainly agreed to it. In fact, they were even seen leaving together. My goodness. We really hope she learned her lesson and takes things slowly but we doubt it.

Our hearts actually ache for Brale Brother Reap and it wasn’t helped at all by hearing that Eleanor was overheard telling Nigel that she’s got to have a talk with B.B. Reap. You just have to know how that talk is going to go. What a freaking shame! Later she was overheard telling B.B. Reap that he had to meet her that night. Such a bummer! Is Mish really worth hurting B.B. Reap??? We love Eleanor but playing with guys’ emotions is NOT COOL! B.B. Reap needs a good girl badly.

Pslyder and Tical faced off in the Outback for the right to hold Firestar — one of the more infamous Opals. In fact, from our knowledge of the history of the Fists’ duels, that particular opal has been involved in the fiery destruction of the Outback more than once. From our knowledge there isn’t any bad blood between Psly and Tical. In fact, we’re pretty sure that they’re downright friendly. No real reason was given for the challenge so we can only guess that Psly has interest in the Opal rather than his opponent.

A crowd was on hand to watch the match go down. We hear that Lil’ Black Book Jaycy kept off to the side, watching in the background. No idea why. She is sleeping with Psly and that isn’t exactly news so we’re not sure why she was careful not to be spotted visibly cheering for him. Tical, however, did have quite the cheering section which included a couple members of the Wrecking Crew — Kheldar, Maria, and Myria. Hold onto that piece of news because it’ll become important later. However, back to the gossip at hand, maybe the cheering section did Tical good because he took the win in two straight matches.

Congratulations on retaining Firestar, Tical!

Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan was around after her previous night’s… uh, demonstration in the art of loony. Smokin’ Sartan seemed a bit concerned that she would already be back in public less than twenty-four hours after The Incident. Thankfully, she wasn’t left unescorted for very long. We hear that once Skid realized that she wasn’t at his house as she was supposed to be he came looking for her. He evidently stayed at her side to make sure that whatever happened the night before did not happen again.

Now remember how we told you a big sampling of the Crew was present? Well, Maria and FLAWLESS Koy reeeaaally got into it laaaate into the night. The women seemed to quite nearly come to blows. Our sources say it was never obvious what they were arguing about besides that video that evidently Maria’s lawyer requested from The Gov MAN-tastic Matt. The blow-up got bigger and bigger while Myria watched on in shock and Kheld tried to talk the ladies down. Koy even grabbed Maria’s wrist but before the fists could start flying, Kheld seemed to convince Maria to leave. Wow! Good money would be on Koy if it was unarmed fight and Maria if it was armed. As for an all-out bar brawl? Now that’s what we would have loved to see!

Edited: January 10th, 2010

Contact Us Saturday!

We HEART domestic disputes in the Red Dragon Inn! We’re pretty sure that some people go to the Inn just to have it out in a public fashion. Drake and his girl (we’re not entirely sure if it’s just his baby’s mama or officially his wife) were heard debating about whether or not they should have more kids. Evidently they already have a daughter and his baby’s mama would like more. Drake doesn’t seem so sure he’s ready to have more right now. Of course, this led to his baby’s mama saying that he just doesn’t want to have more kids with her. Wow.

Why, Scotty? Why? That’s really all we can say to you. Why? For some reason, he thought it would be a fine idea to get Crazy Train Tara a phaser gun. She, of course, came running into the Inn Saturday night to show it off and ended up shooting some unsuspecting people. Let me just give you people a little hint. DO NOT GIVE THE CRAZY GIRL THINGS WHICH MIGHT MAKE HER MORE DANGEROUS! Isn’t Crazy Train Tara dangerous enough for you people? Doesn’t she threaten to bring death and destruction at least once a night? Should we really start arming her?

It seems to repay the favor, C.T. Tara gave Scotty Pandora’s Box. Or at least what she claimed was Pandora’s Box. She evidently was overheard saying to Brian that she had won it from Helen of Troy in a game of Texas Hold ‘Em. Wow. We don’t even know where to start with her. We do know that we’re a little uncomfortable with Scotty having Pandora’s Box if it is the authentic Pandora’s Box. Brian was not at all happy with C.T. Tara.

As for Brian, he seemed to be holding up pretty well in the face of the devastating family news he had received as of late. We hear that he’s been in charge of Jewell’s estate and the burial of her and her children. What an awful, awful task that must have been. Our cold, little hearts go out to him!

C.T. Tara was later overheard telling Prof. Jolyon that she’s six months pregnant with the devil’s child. No lie. Can you think of two beings you’d would prefer more not to have children? We can’t. There’s not a worse hypothetical situation we could come up with. Now she certainly doesn’t look six months pregnant… but we’re not ready to rule out this being entirely in her head yet. Prof. Jolyon was a bit distracted by his girl, Serena’s, curious behavior as of late. It seems that she’s been more than a little out of it and he was overheard asking Chief Mischief Maker Eless for help. We’re pretty sure that whatever trouble that girl is into, it’s entirely of her own making!

We hear that there was some sort of scare where Mega Mom Icer was attacked by some sort of magical being. Chief Mischief Maker Eless and C.T. Tara tried to step in but were unsure how to combat the invisible force. Fortunately enough, one of her hatchlings was present and shone with light which seemed to drive away the force. Wow. Never a quiet night in the Inn, huh?

Things were pretty hopping down in the Arena as well! Our sources tell us that Nice Guy Neo has been getting a LOT of attention from the higher ranks as of late. We hear that his matches are some of the most watched in the Arena and there’s a lot of talk about whether or not he’s going to be able to take a barony this time around. We have a feeling that he makes some of the old guard juuuuust a bit nervous with his talent! What’s so great about N.G. Neo is that he is SUPER humble about it.

Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan and Maria were seen at the bar having a discussion about a new foundation she’s starting. Evidently, it’ll be a program for girls to teach them how to protect themselves and how to duel. We’re hearing that Lil’ Black Book Jaycy is also involved and G’naughty G’nort is one of the donors. Wow. S.P.G. Teagan + Maria + L.B.B. Jaycy + G’naughty G’nort??? Working together in a charity??? Several of those members hate one another and none of them are exactly… well, normal. But, hey, people would say the same about us and our school for disadvantaged youths just wrapped up its first term and is gearing up for its second!

We hear Lil’ Black Book Jaycy was grinning like a silly school girl most of the night. Gah! Seriously. What is wrong with her??? She totally used to be such a cruel heart breaker and now she’s all cuddly and grinning. We don’t like it! It’s time for her to go cheat and ruin her personal life all over again. The new L.B.B. Jaycy is NOT an improved version. We blame Psly for destroying the woman we loved so dearly. Boo, Psly! Boooooo!

Interesting, interesting! We have a feeling that there’s a story behind this one! Evidently Misty (who is supposedly dating or, at least, sleeping with Thorne) was overheard apologizing to Simmering Sivanna for not being more careful about who she allowed “on board”. Simmering Sivanna told her not to mention it and that it wasn’t a big deal but her expression said otherwise. We’re dyyyying to know what happened between Simmering Sivanna and Misty. Anybody know??? Contact us! There’s definitely a reward on the line!

Speaking of very frank discussions, we hear that Thorne was seen having one of those with Kelathe. It had something to do with putting aside their differences over an incident which had led to Misty getting hurt. We have a feeling that everybody’s giving her the benefit of the doubt for N.G. Neo’s sake. We do hope some of those same friends are telling him to be careful with this girl. She’s a royal mess. At least she wasn’t crying Saturday night. That’s an improvement.

Wow! The Gov MAN-tastic Matt is kind of HAWT when he’s all pissed! Nobody told us he could be like that. No wonder FLAWLESS Koy is weak in the knees for him. Our sources tell us that he stormed his way into the Arena Saturday night and made a beeline for the Wrecking Crew’s Tical and Maria. Evidently, he had words with the Overlord and the warlord over a letter that one of their attorneys wrote him in regards to some tape. That’s all our sources could gather but it was not at all a pleasant discussion. Yeah, totally hawt!

Edited: January 4th, 2010