But All The Cool Kids Are Experimenting Friday!

We’re dyyyying to know exactly when Cutie Carley’s relationship with Cy moved past the friendship zone! We weren’t sure if they would ever cross that line! However, they certainly seemed more than friends Friday night when our sources caught sight of them in the Red Dragon Inn. They were sharing goofy grins and he even was seen patting her leg. You know… we were hoping that these two would get together but now that they have we’re left wondering if he’s good enough for her! She is the most adorable thing on the face of the planet!

Lil’ Bit Lirssa was tending the bar and Kendall and Serena were there with her. We hear that Serena was telling the girls that The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker is better now! We’re super glad to hear that. Evidently all that commotion the night before led to Doc Eva cutting out whatever it was that was causing him to act like… well, like a dirty old man. When he felt up Our Darling Taneth a couple weeks back that was really the last straw. We’re glad that somebody finally did something! Now if only somebody will do something to help O.D. Taneth!

Oh, wow. Has Darcy had a healthy relationship??? Mega Mom Icer was overheard trying to calm her “daughter” down but not much seemed to be working. Somehow Darcy’s current boyfriend, Shadow, made her so angry that she made quite the scene. There was screaming, pounding on doors, and death threats. We hear that she COMPLETELY embarrassed herself by going all crazy girlfriend on him. Later when she finally calmed down a bit she was seen in tears, singing some sad love song. Le sigh. Will this girl ever gain some self-respect???

L.B. Lirssa was seen chatting with Lucky Lawyer Lucien! It seems that some believe she would be better off going off to boarding school! Aw! How sad would that make us??? We’ve got to say, though, it might actually be in her best interest. If she has the friends that can pay for some fancy boarding school, why should she remain in RhyDin tending bar and running the streets??? We hear that she didn’t seem really keen on talking about the subject and instead forced L.L. Lucien to tell her about all the fights he’s been getting into recently. Iiiiinteresting! Our sources couldn’t hear the details which is really a shame because we’d love to hear the explanation for L.L. Lucien’s recent short temper!

What…??? Brale Brother Reap asked L.L. Lucien if he would be okay with him…. well, doing something that even we can’t repeat to Crazy Train Tara!!! Does he have a death wish??? L.L. Lucien told him that he should go for it and C.T. Tara told L.L. Lucien that she would think of him while she was doing the nasty with B.B. Reap. Awesome. Nigel was seen talking quietly to B.B. Reap during this whole incident and perhaps he was able to get through to him because at the end of the night C.T. Tara went her way and B.B. Reap went another. One of the interns believes that B.B. Reap probably just did it to tick off Anubis. We’re not so sure, though. We doubt Anubis holds out hope that C.T. Tara is holding out for him and him alone.

We just do NOT get the rules of Slutty Pirate Girl Teagan and Joey’s relationship. It seems that while they are dating one another, they both have other men that they’re interested in. We’re not sure who Joey’s new man is but evidently S.P.G. Teagan’s guy is named Emmerich. According to our sources S.P.G. Teagan really seems to dig this guy. Not enough to give up Joey, though. We still think that this is just a phase in Joey’s life and that Teagan’s going to be hurt pretty darn bad when she moves on. In fact, our sources say that S.P.G. Teagan has invited Joey to move in with her but Joey declined. Iiiinteresting! Maybe S.P.G. Teagan wants to get serious with Joey but it’s Joey that doesn’t want to get serious with S.P.G. Teagan???

Harris hasn’t decided to start dueling again (which certainly would be a sight as he is a living Outback legend) but he has taken to hanging out in his old haunts again. Even G’naughty G’nort seemed a bit surprised to see him hanging out and causing trouble down there once again. We can only hope that this return to the dueling venues is followed by his wife’s return. We have heard some GLORIOUS stories about her!

Also worth mentioning is that Kitty was seen in the Annex with her husband… who is now sporting breasts. Yeah, for some reason Tass is a woman. We have no idea why and it’s one of those things where you just don’t want to know any additional information, you know?

Edited: February 13th, 2010

Strange Thursday!

Thursday was a strange night in the Red Dragon Inn! The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker and Serena were behind the bar as they usually are and T.W.H.T. Tucker was acting just as outrageous and unlike himself as he has been in recent weeks. He began exchanging some pretty heated words with Doc Eva when it appears he was darted by a tranquilizer according to our sources. Doc Eva, Professor Jolyon, Manly Mason, and Serena carried Tucker into the kitchen and left Juliane out to watch the bar and make sure nobody entered the kitchen. Insane! At one point we hear that Doc Eva came out for a med kit but other than a lot of commotion we have no idea what happened in that kitchen! Several hours later Tucker did emerge conscious and silently left the Inn with Serena. Doc Eva, Manly Mason, and Prof. Jolyon said not a word as they all left the Inn as well. Really, really odd. We do hope that whatever happened it restores Tucker to his old self.

It got even stranger from there. Crazy Train Tara was sitting in the middle of the Inn alone muttering to herself when all of a sudden she stabbed herself in the stomach with a dagger. Lucky Lawyer Lucien who had entered just as she plunged a knife into her belly immediately rushed to her to try to talk some sense into her. Unfortunately, she was too busy punching herself in the face, asking Brale Brother Reap for a hatchet, and running into walls to listen to sense. From what we can gather she was trying to purge herself from… well, unclean thoughts of her “LovePuppet”…. who we believe to be L.L. Lucien. Are we the only ones that find it odd that only a couple days earlier she was trying to kill L.L. Lucien out of love for Anubis and now she’s ready to kill herself out of love for L.L. Lucien??? The wonders of C.T. Tara! We just really have to wonder what god L.L. Lucien pissed off to deserve the women that he currently has in his life!

The Arena was heavy with dueling Thursday night but not a lot of gossip. Our sources did spot the legendary duelist Kalamere having a conversation with Lil’ Black Book Jaycy. L.B.B. Jaycy was overheard saying that she won’t retire while Anubis is still dueling because she feels she must counteract him and stand in his way of getting titles. We also hear that she told Kalamere that her newest boy toy Pslyder was attacked the week prior! Wow! According to L.B.B. Jaycy they had no idea who the attacker was but you know it must be somebody serious in order to take down an experienced duelist like Pslyder. As much as his relationship with L.B.B. Jaycy annoys us, we do hope that he recovers quickly and fully!

Edited: February 11th, 2010

Patty Fingers Sunday!

Sometimes no matter how many times our sources explain to us what happened in the Red Dragon Inn on a given night, we just don’t understand. Maybe there are things that are just too crazy for us to wrap our minds around! That was Sunday night. Evidently there was a gingerbread ship full of gingerbread pirates who went on some sort of rampage in the Inn with Darcy, Lang, and Mega Mom Icer as its victims. The ship disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, though, and the patrons of the Red Dragon Inn were safe once more.

Harris bet Lil’ Bit Lirssa a silver that Harper would beat Kendall in a game of darts. We really didn’t think L.B. Lirssa to be the gambling sort but Harris is annoying enough to make anyone turn against their nature in order to shut him up! Kendall won the game of darts and L.B. Lirssa was excited to collect her coins. Perhaps Harper’s game was thrown off a bit because we hear she was admiring John’s new haircut. Well, after the game, Harris decided he needed to shake down Harper to recover the money he lost in his bet. The pair went blow for blow until L.B. Lirssa provided Harris with an ale… which, of course, distracted him from his shake down.

The night of fights didn’t stop there. Manly Mason and Doc Eva really ripped into Serena! Our sources couldn’t exactly tell what the argument was about but during the course of it both Manly Mason and Doc Eva stomped off once. Lil’ Bit Lirssa seemed to play peacemaker which again proves that she’s the most mature person in the Inn on any given night while Playboy Shane seemed to be sticking close to Serena’s side to offer emotional support. Crazy. We have no idea what this was about but you better believe we’re going to keep our ear to the ground!

Juliane was behind the bar and it seems that will be a regular occurrence. We do love Smith tenders! We hear that she caught Playboy Shane’s eye. Although, honestly, it’s not all that hard to catch Playboy Shane’s eye. Anyway, he was overheard asking Darcy about her later in the evening. We hear that Lil’ Bit Lirssa piped in to let Playboy Shane know that Juliane was Johnny’s sister and that if Shane got “all patty fingers with her” that Johnny would clobber Playboy Shane! HILARIOUS! We hear that Marvelous Mira was cracking up.

There were some Fight Night duels happening in the Annex but for the most part attention was focused on the Fists Tag Team Tournament that was taking place for the Tour. Although they only lasted one match, Jake and Napoleon certainly took the reward for best trash talkers! Who would have thought a rat and an orc would be so good at talking smack to their opponents??? They were so good, however, that we’re surprised that Smokin’ Sartan and the Gov MAN-tastic Matt were able to keep it together and beat them!

In the end nobody could match Sartan and MAN-tastic Matt’s skill and the pair took the tag team tournament. Congratulations to both of them!

Edited: February 8th, 2010

Off With The Hair Thursday!

A busy Thursday night around town, particularly in the Red Dragon Inn, made up for a slow week of gossip! The night started off on an odd note as Lang seemed to have somehow trapped Den Mama Icer in a playpen with one of her hatchlings. Honestly, we have no idea which one. Her entire brood is just one giant blur to us. Anyway, D.M. Icer was NOT pleased but, as usual, the super self-involved Lang cared little for anything but his own amusement. We hear that he left her in there for several hours before returning her to her normal size and letting her out of the playpen. Niiiice. With all the family she’s got, it’s best not to mess with her. This isn’t going to end will for Lang.

The World’s Hottest Tender Tucker was still acting incredibly…. well, off! One of the Taneths went to give T.W.H.T. Tucker a nice long hug only to be GROPED! No lie! We hear that when she asked him if he missed her, he pulled her in closer and said “Can’t you tell?” UGH! Say it ain’t so! That’s disgusting. When did our strong, silent T.W.H.T. Tucker become a creepy old man??? Thankfully, Our Darling Taneth was able to wiggle her way free before he was able to make her more uncomfortable. That’s ridiculous!

Things didn’t get any better from there. T.W.H.T. Tucker had ANOTHER argument with Serena (isn’t that like three weeks in a row that their shift has ended in a fight?) and then PUNCHED Brale Brother Reap. We hear that he punched Reap so hard that he knocked him off his stool and that B.B. Reap actually spit out a TOOTH! Mad Cow Kazzy, Our Eve, and Lilli were on hand to make sure he was okay and collect his tooth and T.W.H.T. Tucker decided it was best to storm out. We would say that we bet B.B. Reap was PISSED but we bet he was actually sort of grateful. Can you imagine any other way that B.B. Reap would find to get three hot women tending to him???

OMG! WE TOLD YOU! We hear that Aja was seen with her ex, Padriq, Thursday night! Who is Padriq??? The HOTTEST Kidd brother…. Okay, okay. The ONLY HAWT Kidd brother! The pair had a loooong intimate chat. We hear that they both looked really into one another. THEN HE KISSED HER! No lie! Did we call it or did we call it??? This is a reunion we’ve seen in the works for MONTHS! However, we sure hope that they take it nice and slow. They rushed head first into it last time and we hope Padriq saw his mistake. Rushing too far too quickly can only scare your partner off! Take your time! Enjoy it! And congratulations to the pair of you for re-discovering love!

Then the night took a really crazy turn….

Sullen Sal stormed in from the Arena all pissed off and Crazy Train Tara had to clean the blood off his face and calm him down. C.T. Tara acting motherly is just a bit too freaky for us. Just as the situation seemed to be settling, Anubis decided to show up! Yep! It goes from a bad night to an absolutely insane night from here. Anubis demanded Bekah dance for him as he cuddled C.T. Tara which led to Lucky Lawyer Lucien IMMEDIATELY throwing a punch at Anubis. He didn’t even give Bekah a chance to refuse. He just lashed out at Anubis! The two just totally start absolutely BRAWLING in the middle of the Inn. Brale Brother Reap who never seems to miss a good bar fight jumped into the fray as well and for a while it seemed like they’d really lay a beating on Anubis.

Unfortunately for Reap, Dave decided to SHOT HIM IN HIS LEG and as Brale Brother Reap was dealing with the initial shock of being shot in the middle of the Inn, Dave pistol whipped him. B.B. Reap went down in a heap. Heh. That rhymes. Even Charna got a blow on Anubis! We hear that she packs a pretty mean punch with a shovel! C.T. Tara used the confusion as an opportunity to grab Bekah by the hair and threaten to kill her… which then brought Sal into the fight. As he and C.T. Tara beat on each other, Bekah CUT OFF HER OWN HAIR to get away from C.T. Tara.

Eventually, Anubis and C.T. Tara left the scene of the crime, leaving a lot of destruction and mayhem in their wake. This whole event is so crazy that we don’t even have to add our own commentary to it to make it sensational! WOW!

Edited: February 3rd, 2010

Megabrawl Sunday!

We’re not really sure if chaos and mayhem follow Mad Cow Kazzy or if she causes it but Sunday night in the Red Dragon Inn was a perfect example of the trouble that can happen when you’re hanging out with her. We hear that Lirssa, Serena, and Mick were coloring with her when the monster on the page that M.C. Kazzy was coloring started to come to life AND EAT HER HAND!!! Lirssa tried to peel the beast off Kazzy and Serena tried to pull Kazzy’s hand out while the thing spit smelly mud at them. Fortunately, Mick came to the rescue and set the thing on fire. Unfortunately for Eleanor, she was in wake zone when the thing exploded mud all over the place. Wow. What do you even say to that???

Wow! Things just do NOT seem to be getting better for the Taneths… or for Lucky Lawyer Lucien for that matter! He walked in Sunday night to find Crazy Train Tara and Rowdy Rekah hiding under the table while one the Taneths threw stuff at the girls and spoke of eating them! OMG! To make matters even worse, Rowdy Rekah had a gun and C.T. Tara was urging her to blow the Taneths heads off. First of all, who in the world gave Rowdy Rekah a gun??? We have a strong feeling that this may be blamed entirely on Sullen Sal. Doesn’t it seem right up his alley???

Anyway, Lucky Lawyer Lucien had to intervene as usual but, unfortunately, this seemed to be one of those rare opportunities that he was NOT able to calm the situation down. He ended up getting into a fight with some mystery guy named Dave who C.T. Tara had put in charge of guarding Rowdy Rekah. When L.L. Lucien went to punch this Dave guy, he ducked and L.L. Lucien hit Rowdy Rekah instead, knocking Rekah out! In the mayhem that ensued, one of the Taneths kidnapped Rekah and L.L. Lucien and this Dave guy just started WAILING on each other! C.T. Tara eventually had to calm L.L. Lucky down while Nigel held Lil’ Bit Lirssa back to keep her out of the fray! How odd is that???

The Megabrawls of the dueling venues have NOTHING on a Sunday night in the Red Dragon Inn evidently!

Edited: February 1st, 2010